I wonder why he wears them...
I’m pulled from my creepy gawking when a girl coming out of the building not too far ahead of him looks up and lets out a shriek upon seeing him. It wasn’t much different from my reaction to him, yet it feels different.
I’d screamed because I didn’t know he was there. This girl screamed after she saw him, and to make matters even worse, she turned and ran right back into the building…
Strange.
But then again, I’m sure some people look at me and think the same thing.
Unable to wait another second, I move to one of the picnic tables just off to the side of the path in the grass and haphazardly dump my bag.
The camera box sits there, in all of its brand-new glory, and for a moment, all I can do is look at it. I’d been half afraid I imagined it, but when I reach out and grab it, I feel the smile that pulls at my lips, and my cheeks ache.
One second I’m holding the box, and the next I have the camera, turning to look at the tree through the lens. The shutter hits me like a drug, and I’m lost to it.
I start with the tree before moving on to the flowers, the path, and even parts of the building where ivy grows wild. I almost walk off before I remember I have a bag full of stuff scattered around, things I very much need.
I shove it all back in my bag and throw the bag on my shoulder before I put the camera strap around my neck, just as more students begin to file out from a few different buildings.
Crap, how long have I been out here?
I glance at my phone and have to do a double-take.
Three hours!
Panic begins to rise, threatening to choke me as I think of all the time I just wasted, and for what?
The weight of the camera around my neck settles me, though, and when I look down at it, I think of Julez.
He’s the only one I’d ever told about my camera or love of photography while here. Heck, he’s the only one I’ve ever talked to about myself, with the exception of Jordan.
I’ll have to thank him because he didn’t have to do this; he didn’t have to do half of what he has been, and I honestly won’t ever be able to repay him for it.
I think it might be safe to say he isn’t just trying to hurt me, and if he is, well, he’s going to destroy me. And at this point, I might just let him.
Even with the thought of that, I can’t keep the smile off my face. I move down the hall on autopilot to yet another place I can’t wait to photograph, the library.
I stop midstep when I’m reminded of who else was with me last time, the way his voice sounded in my ear, the feel of his hand on my back. A guy nearly plows into me, cursing at me as he moves around me, and I don’t even realize until after he’s already much too far for me to apologize.
I still don’t even know his name, yet as I force myself to start moving again, I can’t help but feel a giddy pep in my step at the thought of seeing him. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out to see yet another message from D.
I hadn’t responded to his first one, but I read it; I haven’t dared click on our conversation since.
It hurt.
I know it might not be fair, that I wasn’t his problem or responsibility, but I’d needed him.
Now I don’t need anyone, and I’m not sure I can go back and not fall right back into what we had, or what I thought we had, I guess.
No, I don’t have time for this, for any of them. I have my work cut out for me with just graduating and trying to get away; I can’t afford to let boys cloud my mind, even if I really, really want to.
I push open the library doors, and just like that, all thoughts of boys and the past vanish, and it’s just me and my camera again. Time stands still as I move around the aisles and tables, not another soul in sight today, minus the librarian who gives me a warm smile.
My stomach grumbles, and I huff in annoyance at the reminder that I need to eat.
I’d been so distracted by D’s text that I forgot I’d pulled out my phone for a reason.
I quickly Google the closest store and groan in annoyance, perhaps a little too loudly for a library, but thankfully, I’m alone still.
