He holds my gaze for a moment, and so much happens in his eyes that I can’t make heads or tails of it before he shuts it all down.
“Life’s not fair,” he says, turning and walking out the door, and as it falls closed behind him, I know he’s right.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t try to make it just a little better for her.
Ifall into a pattern pretty easily: class, study, extras, meeting with Dimitri, dinners with the boys, sleep, repeat, and if I’m lucky, I get to sneak a few shots in here and there as I go.
Classes aren’t hard exactly, but they are a lot, and with all the catching up I’m also doing, I spend more time in the library than almost anywhere else.
Dimitri has us in a meeting once a week for now to ensure I don’t drown myself in work. It feels silly to go in just to check in so often, but I can’t deny that it’s also kind of nice just to know someone cares.
Not that hecares,or anything like that, just more that he cares like I’m his student; he wants me to succeed… It’s a normal amount of caring.
I think.
No, I need to stop thinking about him because now all I can think about is the way his lips would feel on mine, and yeah, talk about off-limits.
It would be easier to get over this silly little crush if I didn’t have to see him so often, but he insists, and each time I tellmyself I’m not going to keep it up, well, it only lasts until I’m sitting opposite him in his office.
I wish Jordan were around to tell me if I was being silly, seeing things that aren’t really there, just in hopes of being special.
Then again, maybe I don’t. If he were here, I doubt I would have an issue with too many guys; he’d happily scare them all away.
Though I’m not sure anyone could scare Gloves away...
Ugh, that one is a problem.
Gloves is almost always there when I go to the library or joins me soon after, and on the rare occasion he isn’t, I feel it like a pit in my stomach. How can I feel like this for a man whose name I still don’t know? I haven’t the foggiest idea, but who says it’s rational? Certainly not me.
I’m not too proud to admit I hadn’t even noticed he wasn’t studying most of the time.
Sometimes he came with a book, other times with his phone; sometimes he had what I assumed was a sketchpad, though I never dared to peek.
I know how hard it can be to share your work with others, and I’m not sure I’m ready to show him mine should he ask.
Julez is almost always just there too, if I’m being honest.
After class, in the dorm, at lunch…
He bought me a camera. After one measly conversation, he took it upon himself not only to do what he could to fix my problem but also to take no credit for it. Which seemed so unlike him; he’s usually so loud and proud.
Titus still hates me, only speaking in German around me, and I let him, pretending as if I don’t understand him. For the most part, he doesn’t even say anything worth hiding, with the exception of Thursday night, that is. I attended cello practice for the first time, and he was there too.
He’d had a few choice words to say then.
To be fair, I had no idea he was going to be there; it’s not like I picked it to spite him. He’s certain that’s why, though, and since I wasn’t supposed to understand him, I couldn’t exactly tell him how stupid that sounded.
Well, I could have, but I didn’t.
I got the feeling that fighting with Titus is like fighting a wall; nobody wins, and you feel stupid afterward.
I’ve spent enough time feeling stupid to last me a lifetime. Now I pick my battles.
Today, though, instead of having something with him, Gloves sits with nothing, and I feel the weight of his gaze as he watches me move around the table and into the chair opposite him.
There is a coffee waiting for me, though, along with a cupcake from the looks of it. I can’t help but smile. Ever since he first brought me that coffee and sub, he’s been bringing something for me every time.
It’s silly, and I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he ignored me, and I can’t bring myself to even pretend I’m upset about it.
