And with my professor's phone number.
My day has been a rollercoaster, from waking up this morning with Julian and Gavin arguing to spending the afternoon with Dimitri.
My professor, who I’ve now not only kissed, but spent the afternoon in his lap talking about not just school, but Jordan.
Talking about Jordan is almost crazier than our shared kisses and those smiles of his that make me feel like I’m looking at the sun. I hadn’t really let myself linger on thoughts of him since before; it hurt too bad to face alone, and nobody understood. How could they? Jordan wasn’t just my brother but my twin, my other half, and the only family I had left.
I don’t know if Dimitri understood, but he’s sure good at listening, and something about being in his arms gave me the push I needed.
Actually, now that I think about it, there isn’t much I know about Dimitri. I’ll have to fix that.
By the time dinner rolled around, I felt so much better, which is how I ended up here, in the library with all my photos. I’d goneand grabbed a small tray of food from the cafeteria and, by some miracle, hadn’t seen any of the guys.
Julian had texted me a few times earlier, asking where I was and if I was okay. I let him know I was fine after my initial freak-out, but I didn’t exactly feel like telling him where I’d been was a good idea.
I’d been tempted to tell him where I was going, but I knew doing that was as good as inviting him to come here, and while I usually loved his company, right now I just needed a minute to breathe.
I’ve taken a lot of photos since he got me the camera, but I hadn’t done anything with them. On a whim, I print one hundred of them at random, heading to my table the second they are done, a grin tugging at my lips and excitement filling me.
Thankfully, the table I’ve dubbed my own is huge, and in just a few minutes, or maybe hours—I’m not really keeping track—I have all the pictures spread along the table.
I’m just missing one thing.
I reach into my bag, digging around for the stow-away zipper compartment, and pull out the only photo I have left of Jordan.
It’s the two of us, about six years ago. We were at one of his games; he’d been facing off against Titus’s team, actually. They won by one goal, scored by my brother in the last ten seconds.
Funny how they never hated him, though. But I think that says more about Jordan than anything else; he was always the center of attention, able to draw anyone in.
We always joked that he got all the charm, and I got all the brains.
I wipe the tear that rolls down my cheek as I open the binder I intend to work on. It’s going to bemy time at Meadow Ridge Academy,all the things I would have shared with Jordan.
“You have a brother?” I nearly jump out of my skin, whipping around to find Felix standing behind me with two to-go cups,one in each gloved hand. He holds one out to me, and I take it, holding it close to my chest as I turn back to the sea of pictures that cover the table.
The urge to hide the pictures vanishes the second I register it’s him, which is strange but not unpleasant.
“Had.” I force the word out, turning back to look at that picture, one of my most prized possessions.
We were so young, and while life was still hard, at least we had each other, and that was more than I ever needed.
Never did I think I could survive in this world alone. Some days I still didn’t want to, but I knew he wouldn’t want that.
I’m not sure what I expect, maybe for him to leave. It’s a heavy topic after all, but instead, I feel him move closer, and when I look back, I find him standing right behind me. His gloved hand is braced on the back of my chair, and I swear I can almost feel his touch.
It’s strange the way he feels as though he grounds me. I hadn’t realized I’d missed his presence so much until he appeared, as if answering a call I didn’t know I put out.
“A twin?” he asks, and he’s close enough that I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention, and my heart rate doubles in speed.
“Yes,” I say, and my voice sounds breathless. I’m shocked to realize that it has nothing to do with my sadness and everything to do with Felix’s proximity.
It doesn’t escape me how very inappropriate this is, considering I just spent my afternoon in Dimitri’s arms, but I can’t seem to get a grip on myself. There’s just something about him. As if I’m drawn to him beyond my own control.
Desperate to distract myself, I turn my attention back to the pictures, quickly sticking photos into sleeves and…
“Shit!” The picture slips through my fingers. It’s a picture of the tree, the first one I’d taken with my new camera, the very one that Felix took me to.
A drop of blood wells on my finger, and my stomach turns as the metallic scent registers in my nose and memories hit me like I’m back in that car.
