And that was that. The last eight months of my life ended with a text.
“How are you doing, sweetie?” Tessa asks.
“Not great,” I admit. “Which makes me feel selfish to say since I’m the one who caused it. Jack was a good man, and I knew that I just didn’t feel for him what I should. I let it go on too long, and he suffered for it.”
“Why did you let it go on?” Katelyn asks. “If you knew that it wasn’t what you were looking for?”
I consider her question, but just like all last night as it rattled around in my brain, I don’t have an answer. “I have no idea. I guess I just hoped it would develop into something more.” I take a deep breath. “Which, of course, means I’m a selfish turd who doesn’t deserve love.” I drop my head down and rest my forehead against the small, wooden table.
“You are not a selfish turd,” Tessa says.
“Seriously,” Katelyn adds. “You shouldn’t have to make yourself feel something for someone if you don’t.”
“Do you know what he said to me?” A wave of irritation rushes through me, and I sit up quickly.
“What’s that?” Tessa asks.
“He told me to remember that Sawyer spent six years standing beside me and never took the leap. But he knew after the first month that he was in love with me. He said that if he was worth it, Sawyer should have fought for me. Can you believe that?”
Tessa and Katelyn exchange looks. Which, of course, infuriates me further.
“Oh, don’t do that,” I snap.
“Do what?” Katelyn takes a sip of her tea.
“Sawyer and I were only ever just friends. There was never some unspoken romance between us or?—”
Tessa coughs on the coffee she just drank, choking on the liquid.
“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You and Sawyer have been dancing around each other for a long time. At least, from what I hear,” she adds. “Definitely for the last year that I’ve known him. Did you seriously not know how he felt about you, honey?”
“I—”
“Scratch how he feels,” Katelyn says. “How do you feel?”
“Annoyed. Irritated. Frustrated. Pick an emotion, and that’s pretty much me at the moment.” The bell over the door dings, so I stand without glancing over my shoulder to see who it is. “I’m a nice big bucket of feelings. Is that what you want to hear?”
Turning, I find myself face-to-face with none other than Sawyer Maddox.
I stare up at him, partially shocked that he’s here and completely annoyed that he has the audacity to walk through my door after what he tried to pull last night. Six months of ignoring me. Six months! And he thinks coming out to “check” on me when my relationship was circling the drain was okay.
“What are you doing here?” I snap.
“Coffee? Come on, take pity on me, Knox. I didn’t sleep well.” He flashes me a hesitant smile.
I glare at him, anger burning a hole through my heart. I clench both hands into fists at my sides and fight the urge to take a swing at him. “Sawyer Maddox. Get out.” I point to the door.
“Anastasia.”
“No. You don’t get to come in here like this. It’s been six months since you stepped through those doors. Half a year. Yet, the day after I broke a perfectly kind man’s heart, you decide you’re interested in friendship again? No. I am not a toy to be picked up and played with whenever you feel like it.”
Sawyer’s caramel eyes sharpen. His shoulders square, and he stares down at me with all the fire I wish I’d felt with Jack. “I don’t think you’re a toy to be played with,” he snaps. “I miss my friend, and I wanted to check on you to make sure you were okay.”
“Well, I’m here. Right as rain. Sun is shining, and I’m alive. Woohoo. Now, go.”
Sawyer glances past me, likely seeking confirmation from Tessa and Katelyn that I haven’t gone completely nuts. I imagine I certainly look the part. Giant circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. Hair in a messy bun on top of my head.
