She closes her eyes. “Yes, Sawyer. Jack and I are done. Happy?”
Yes. “I’m not happy that you’re hurting.”
A tear rolls down her cheek. Knowing I’m the reason cuts me deeper than any blade ever has. “You didn’t seem to care before.”
My breath hitches in my chest, guilt crushing down on top of me. I’d thought I was doing us both a favor, but in reality, I was just protecting myself. Shielding my already broken heart from the very thing that shattered it in the first place.
And whose fault is that? Mine. Because I wasted time. I took too long, and I lost the only thing that really mattered.
“That’s not true,” I counter. “I thought I was doing you a favor.”
“A favor? By taking my friend away?”
“Friend,” I repeat the word, hating it with every fiber of my being. A friend wouldn’t stare at her lips and wonder what they taste like. A friend wouldn’t watch her from across the room, wishing he had the courage to just tell her how he felt. A friend wouldn’t want to pull her into his arms just to feel the softness of her pressed against him.
Friend? I don’t think I’ve ever truly been her friend.
“Yes, Sawyer. You were my best friend, and then you just stopped showing up. You stopped being you.”
“How could I have kept being me when you were with him?” I demand, anger igniting my blood. “I told you how I felt!”
“Told me?” She laughs. “Are you kidding me, Maddox? You told me that I should have seen the way you looked at me. As far as I could tell, it was no different than the way you look at everyone else! You’re always flirting. Always making passes at women.”
“I do not make passes,” I snap.
She rolls her eyes.
“You are different.”
“No, I’m not. I was just another person you toyed with until I became boring.”
How can she not see? “You are the single most important person in the world to me. You have been from the moment we met.”
She laughs. “Sure seems like it. I need to go to bed, Sawyer. I have an early morning, and the absolute last thing I want to do is be anywhere near you.”
I grip her arm as she moves past me, trying to stop her from leaving before I’ve said everything I want to say.
Fight flares in her bright hazel eyes, and she moves in closer. My pulse hammers as need slams into me. “Fine. You want to keep talking? Then tell me, what is it you want from me, Sawyer?” She stares up at me, and my stomach twists into nervous knots. “Because it’s been six years, and not once have you given me any indication that you wanted something aside from friendship.”
But I loved you the moment I first saw you. How do I explain to her that I kept my distance because I never felt good enough to love her? Releasing her, I reach back to grip the counter behind me. My fingers grip the cool stone to keep me from taking everything I want when it’s mere inches in front of me.
I can see it all too clearly.
Me snaking a hand around the back of her neck and pulling her in.
My lips slamming onto hers.
Lifting her into my arms so I can get closer.
But just like I can easily imagine the way it would feel, I can also see the fallout. Things are too volatile between us now. Anything that starts will surely end in flames.
Anastasia’s gaze drops to my mouth, and she leans in even closer, her own lips parting.
Lord, grant me strength.
She presses a hand to my chest, and some of my restraint snaps. I lean into her. Can she feel the way I tremble at her touch?
“Is this what you want?” She stretches up on her tiptoes until her lips are just a breath away from mine, all while I slowly lose the fight within me. Her hot breath fans over my face.
