She arches a brow. “Oh?”
“I promised Zane, I’d keep you safe.”
“I didn’t realize that meant you had to friend-zone yourself.”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “Woman, you are going to be the death of me.”
She bats those long, dark lashes at me. “Why is that?”
“Because I know myself. I’ve got buckets of self-control, but where you’re concerned?—”
“Seems to me you’ve shown exemplary self-control for nearly seven years when it comes to me.”
I smirk at her. “That was before I had a taste of what I was missing.”
She smiles, and I’m so happy to see she’s not the least bit bothered by what I’m asking of her, or the pause I’m putting on our still-new relationship. “Fair enough, Maddox. Friends, then?”
“For now, Knox,” I say. “Wow. I might be the only guy in the history of the world that finally moved out of the dreaded friend zone, only to kick the door open and board myself right back in.”
“You’re a real trailblazer.” Anastasia drops her head to my shoulder and lets out a sigh. “I miss my cat.”
“I wanted to bring him, but it didn’t seem smart. Just in case we have to leave quickly.”
“That was a smart choice. He’ll be safe with my mom.” Her tone is so full of pain. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Violet before.” She raises her head and draws her knees up against her chest.
The brokenness on her face guts me. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”
“I tried so hard to push that night out of my mind. To focus only on the good memories I had of her. The sleepovers, phone calls where our brothers would get on the other line and make fun of us.” She laughs softly, but there are tears in her eyes. “I still have nightmares sometimes. They’re rare now, but every now and then, I’ll be back in that car. The stench of gasoline and copper tang of blood in the air.”
“I’m so sorry, Anastasia.” But it doesn’t feel like enough. Nothing feels like enough to soothe the ache in her heart. Lord, please help her. You know what she needs, God, and I know that You are here even in her brokenness. I pray for Your help in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
“Thanks for not being mad that I kept it from you.”
“What kind of man would I be if I was?” I ask honestly. Everyone has their secrets. Those dark parts of themselves that they want to keep shielded from the rest of the world. Hidden pain, broken promises, those heartbreaking moments we walked away from, bruised and bloodied.
“I’m grateful for you.” She turns her face to look at me, so I reach up and cup her cheek, then lean forward and rest my forehead against hers.
“I feel the same about you, Anastasia.”
I love you, I long to say. But until we’re in a place where what’s between us can move forward, I have to keep that declaration to myself. Because once I say those words out loud, there will be no going back.
“Lunch is served.” Anastasia hands me a sandwich wrapped in a cloth napkin.
“You are my hero, Knox,” I say with a wide grin.
“I try.” She smiles, something that seems to be coming to her a bit easier today. “Will you do the honors?”
“Absolutely.” Since I’m guiding the boat and need to stay safe, I keep my eyes open but bow my head slightly. “Heavenly Father, we thank You for this food. Please let it nourish our bodies, Lord, and bless the hands that prepared it. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.”
“Amen.” She takes an almost comical bite out of the sandwich, then takes a seat in the chair next to mine. “How goes it, Captain Maddox?” Dressed in shorts and a long button-down, she’s a sight to behold.
It’s a fight to keep my gaze straight ahead where it belongs.
“It’s going. There’ve been a few fishing boats here and there, but nothing to write home about. How about you?”
“I finished a book.”
“Already? Didn’t you just start it?”
