“I…”Professional narcissistic liars, that’s who. “I don’t know. Forget I said this, I—”
“See, you are lying right now.”
My face did feel hot. “No, I’m not!”
He tilted his head to the side, looking at me like I was telling him I didn’t eat the last piece of cake while having chocolate smeared on my face. He grabbed some more food and gave it to me. “Here is what I think andplease, let me finish talking before you try denying it.”
Oh, oh.
“I think you witnessed violence before you got here,” he said. “I do not know yet if youwerethe one being purposefully hurt or if it was someone close to you, but I do know that it has made you wary.” I was brave for all of one second. Just enough to meet his gaze before I looked down at the sand under my naked feet. Just long enough for him to maybe read it all on my damn face. “I do know that it somehow makes you struggle to speak up. To communicate your needs. To tell what is on your mind.”
Spot on. Damn it.
“Know that I will always be able to tell when you lie.” Filbur smiled. “Even when it is to yourself. You are safe to tell the truth here. Let’s start with basic needs, yes?” I blinked, unsure what to do. What tosay. “Are you hungry?”
A pretty straightforward question. Iwashungry, although less than when he first asked. Filbur still hadn’t eaten anything. Maybehewas not hungry. Yet, he seemed happy to just feed me.
My instinct was to say no. “Yes,” I said instead.Baby steps.“It’s really good.”
His smile widened, showing perfectly aligned teeth. He looked oddly beautiful…
“Are you comfortable?” he asked next.
Was I? My back hurt, but it had more to do with the long day than the actual position we were sitting in. I actually really enjoyed the feeling of the soft sand under my feet.
But I…wasn’t entirely comfortable. “Yes.” He arched a brow at me.Shit.It was compulsive at this point. “I’m…I’m a bit cold.”
And it was true. Although the sun had been extremely warm when I arrived, it had cooled down with the night. The fire warmed us, but being tired always made me shake from the cold.
Filbur didn’t say anything as he stood and unwrapped the sort of scarf from his wide and muscular shoulders to wrap it around mine.Damn, this man is huge. Something fluttered in my lower stomach as he peered at me from above.He’s kind of hot too. Who would have thought I’d be into a red, bald, bodybuilder?
“Is it better?” he asked.
I wasn’t sure if the sudden warmth was from his thick scarf—who smelled strangely good, like a mix between smoke, fruits and sea—or…something else. So I just nodded. Because I did feel better, but he didn’t have to know thereason.
He sat back in front of me.Closer. He picked up something from the plate and brought it to his own mouth.
Mouth that had kissed me both reluctantly and eagerly at the same time not that long ago. It had been agoodkiss. Really good, even. Much better than the handful of times Jake had drunkenly forced his damn tongue against mine and I’d had to refrain myself from biting it off.
“Can I ask why you feel like you cannot tell me the truth?” Filbur asked softly and my throat bobbed, forcing the memory of his lips moving against mine away.
“I…It’s just…I mean, I don’t—” I stuttered like an idiot. Iknewwhy. Because I was scared. Because I’d been conditioned to keep quiet. Because I waspunishedif I spoke out of turn or said something they didn’t want to hear. I had been struck a few times, yes. But their favorite way of dealing with me had been with hurtful words.
Filbur saw right through me. “If you do not want to tell me yet, just say so. Do not lie, alright?”
Okay. I could do this. “I…I don’t think I can talk about it for now.”
Not yet. Maybe not ever but I hoped I could at some point.
I was broken. But what if Filbur could fix me?
8
She was here and she was perfect.
Filbur
Iwas getting through her barriers.
