I pace his room and try to occupy myself. His tablet. I’ll work on the disguise that I promised I’d get Rafail. I grab the tablet to work on it when I remember—I never finished watching that video of him with his brother.
Do I really need to see that?
I know he was the one who took his brother’s life in the end, that he was forced to. I know all that, but I wonder now… Why do I have to watch it? Why can’t I get it out of my mind?
I need to know.I need to know what forged him into the man he is today.
Now is as good a time as any. He’s not here.
So I climb into the bed with my back against the wall. I turn on the tablet, my hands shaking. I hit play and fast-forward halfway to where I left off before.
My hands are clammy. I feel nauseous. I don’t want to see this; I really don’t.
But I have to look at the raw brutality that knit the fabric of the man I love.
So, with all the strength I have, I hit the arrow to make it play.
Just as before, it’s dark and hard to see.
Matvei is asking questions now, pacing, and I’ve never seen him look like this before. He’s sweating bullets, his hands in his hair, he curses, and he?—
Oh my god.
This is going tokillme.
I can't. I can't look away.
Matvei’s crying. My heart feels as if it’s breaking into tiny pieces to see my big, strong bear of a man with tears streaming down his face.
"How could you do this?" he says, his voice shaking. "How could you? You took vows. I did everything I could to teach you to be loyal to our family."
His brother looks him in the eye and says something strange—something almost unthinkable.
"Iwasloyal to our family, Matvei."
That’s enough for him.
Rafail’s voice snaps like a whip. "You took the vow ofVorovskoy Mir. And it's your brother’s duty to do what has to happen next." He jerks his head to Matvei.
A click of a gun.
"Please." Gleb’s voice shakes. "Don't—I promise. I’ll never do it again. Don't, Matvei. I love you. Matvei, I’m your brother?—"
Bang.
The boom echoes through the cold room, and his body slumps in the chains.
I’m crying freely now, swiping at my eyes, but it’s useless. The betrayal digs deep into my soul, carving something jagged inside me. Matvei falls to his knees in front of his brother’s lifeless form, cradling him in his arms—the very brother he just killed.
He'll never forgive himself for this.
And I am broken.
Sobbing harder than I have ever cried in my entire life.
It wasn’t until I saw him fall to his knees, rocking his brother’s body to his chest, that I knew.
I know.
