“It’s cool you look after them,” Mateo said.
Dorian shrugged. “I wish I could do more. Then yesterday Becca called to tell me she’s met someone, and it’s getting serious. She wondered if I would like to meet him. Give my stamp of approval.” He pressed the palms of his hands against his knees, leaning forward slightly. “And I don’t know, it just opened the wound like it was fresh. I couldn’t get past it yesterday. Grief overwhelmed me. I had to leave work because I couldn’t hold it together. Not that I blame Becca or anything, but it never occurred to me she’d ever love anyone but Nate. Isn’t that ridiculous?”
“Not ridiculous,” Ellen said. “In fact, I would say it’s a common reaction when your best friend’s wife moves on.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Dorian said.
“How are you feeling today?” Ellen asked.
“Better,” Dorian said. “This morning I got up and went to the beach for a run. This is going to sound weird but there was this bird—not a seabird—but a sparrow, I think. It followed me halfway down the beach, then circled around my head a few times like it was trying to tell me something. I felt like it was Nate, telling me it was okay for all of us to move on. That maybe he was at peace finally. I know, it was probably just a bird wondering if I had seeds in my pockets. Somehow, though, I felt better.”
Everett nodded, leaning over his knees. “That’s all that matters. Even if it wasn’t him, you felt a connection to something deep. That’s a gift.” He hesitated for a moment. “What yousaid about this angry, seething man—that’s what I’m afraid I’ve turned into. I’m still so angry at her. I hate myself for thinking that way. It wasn’t weakness.”
“It was the disease,” I blurted out.
“Right. I wouldn’t be mad at someone who’d died of cancer,” Dorian said.
“You might be,” I said. “I pretty much run on rage and coffee. I bet I could find a way to be angry they let those cancer cells in there.”
That caused everyone to chuckle, which hadn’t been my aim, but it made me feel like part of the gang. Like I belonged here.
The conversation went on. Some people talked, some passed. I listened to every word, and every one felt like a life ring in that strong riptide I’d felt earlier.
When our hour was nearly up, Ellen turned to me. “Delphine, we sometimes close the meeting by sharing one ordinary thing we’re going to do when we get home.”
“Heat up my leftover Chinese takeout,” Mateo said right away. “And yes, chefs do order bad takeout. On occasion.”
“I love bad Chinese food,” Dorian said. “The greasier the better.”
“Totally,” Mateo said.
“I’m going to watch a movie with my girls,” June said.
“I plan on pouring a fat glass of wine and watching aMurder She Wrotererun,” Lorrie said.
“I actually have a date,” Everett said. “With a woman I met on the dating app. It’ll probably be a disaster, but I have to do it. The first one’s the hardest, right?”
“I can’t wait to hear how it goes,” June said. “Maybe I’ll put my profile back up.”
“I’ll give you a full report,” Everett said.
They shared a smile.
“I’m meeting some friends at The Pelican,” Dorian said. “Which feels nice. To have somewhere to go. People to see.”
Ellen turned to me. “Delphine?”
“I’m going to read the next chapter in a book someone recommended to me,” I said, without looking at Dorian.
That ended our meeting. Everyone stood, gathering bags.
“Delphine,” Ellen said. “I’m glad you came. You’re welcome here any time. No pressure, no timeline.”
“Thank you,” I said, and meant it. “And thank you for sending Annie to the teen group.”
“Oh, Annie’s your daughter?”
“That’s right.”
