“So, how are things?” Vance asked, too innocently. “Anything new?”
“Very funny.”
“I’ve got to be honest, I was surprised to hear she was finally letting you in.” He swirled his glass. “Even the kids had given up on her ever dating again.”
“So I keep hearing.”
“And yet here you are.” He looked at me sideways. “I know you’ve had a thing for her for a while. But I just wanted to check in. See if you’re okay.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I’m good. Really good. She’s everything I could want.”
Vance nodded slowly. “Just be a little careful. She’s like a wild horse. Hard to tame.”
“I know. I understand who she is.” I took a sip of wine. “But I get it. I’m happier with her than I’ve ever been with anyone, and it scares me to death.”
“Just take it slow. I worry about you,” Vance said.
“I’m a big boy. But I do worry about Annie. If this doesn’t work out, she’s going to be crushed.” An image of Annie in the pool at the resort flashed through my mind. She’d been so trusting, so open with me. “We had the best time in Cliffside Bay the other day. It was perfect. But I worry anyway.”
“Yeah, it’s tough when there are young, tender hearts at stake. Lila and I felt that too. Especially with the whole Margot situation.”
“Your ex-wife always had impeccable timing,” I said. After keeping his daughter away from him for years, she’d called out of the blue and told her she wanted him to take Margot so she could remarry. Lila, bless her, had taken it in stride. Now they were a happy family of four. “I want what you have. That’s just the truth.”
“And it’s Delphine, not just the idea of Delphine? Because you want to meet someone?”
“I don’t think so.” I turned the glass in my hands. “Becca’s getting married. I’m giving her away.”
“And? Is that relevant to your relationship with Delphine?”
“Just the timing part of it.” I stopped, hunting for the right words. “She met the guy at Christmas. Six months ago. And my first thought was that it’s too fast to get married. She can’tpossibly know him well enough. But here I am, falling hard for Delphine. Not that different, really, if I’m being honest.” I looked at him. “How do I know I’m not just … that she isn’t just the first warm thing after a lot of cold years? How do I know if this is real or that I’m simply tired of being alone? There’s Annie to consider.”
Vance was quiet for a moment. He took his time with the wine, swirling and sniffing before taking a sip. “Here’s the thing. When you know, you know. I knew it with Lila almost from the start.”
Down at the pool, somebody shrieked and somebody splashed.
That was just it. I didn’t know. I was in unfamiliar territory in every way.
“I’ve been half in love with her at least a year,” I said. “But I have to be careful.”
“Just trust yourself,” Vance said. “But also, take care of yourself. You’re a good person who deserves someone whole, without the past getting in the way.”
How was it possible that a past like Delphine’s could ever be anything other than an impediment? Was it really possible that she would fall in love with me? Trust me enough to make this something that lasts? I didn’t know the answer and I didn’t like not knowing the answer.
But wasn’t that the nature of love and romance? Risky? Still, what if it was me who couldn’t be trusted? What if I was the one who did the leaving? Or the running? I could not hurt them. I just couldn’t be that guy. Which left me feeling confused and anxious, with no roadmap about how to make sure that didn’t happen.
The dayof Becca’s wedding, I drove north to Cliffside Bay. Since it was a small affair, only a dozen or so friends, Becca had decided against a rehearsal dinner, for which I was grateful. Conflicted as I was, a wedding ceremony and reception was about all I had in me.
The two weeks since Becca's announcement had been the happiest of my life, which should have told me something. Dinners at Delphine's or my place every night. Playing checkers with Annie. Going to her soccer games.
Then, one evening, Poe decided he should come with me to Delphine’s and snuck into the back of my car while I was unloading groceries. I’d not known the rascal was in the back having a good sleep, only to appear in the mirror like a ghost cat when we got to Delphine’s. He zipped out the door before I could stop him, headed to Delphine’s front door, where he was greeted with attention and a can of tuna. And then he would not leave. He’d hidden under Delphine’s bed, refusing to come back to the store. The whole thing was annoying but also hilarious. I had to bring his litter box and food over to the cottage. Poe had decided it was his home and I wasn’t getting him back. Not to mention, the darn animal crawled into Delphine’s lap any chance he got.
“I guess God wanted me to have a cat,” Delphine had said one night while Poe was slumbering in her arms, snoring like an old man.
The traitor.
I'd been with her every night for the past two weeks. In all those nights, I'd never once asked Delphine to come with me to the wedding. I told myself it was because the affair was small. Because I'd be working, in a way —walking my best friend’s wifeinto the arms of another man—I had to do this alone. Delphine hadn’t asked about the wedding or invited herself like a lot of women might. I suspected she understood why I didn’t ask. This was part of my world with Nate and Becca. Delphine and Annie were part of my new world now.
Mark’s home was beautiful, perched on a hill looking out to the ocean. I parked and wandered around to the back, where the yard had been set up for a small wedding. Neat rows of white chairs had been brought in, with rose petals scattered in the aisle. An arch decorated with roses framed the ocean view. The day couldn’t have been finer either, with blue skies and temperatures in the mid-seventies.
