“Like how?”
“Maria’s love of sports. Your sensitive nature. Your laugh sounds just like him.”
“It does?” Luci asked.
“Yes, it does.” Becca held out her hand and Luci took it. “Come on, you two. The taco truck’s here.”
“Tacos? Now we’re talking,” I said, following behind them, heart still sore … but better.
Two things could be true at the same time.
The coast roadhome was dark and the fog was coming in over the headlands in long ropes. I turned music on to keep me company, trying to fight the melancholy that had crept in earlier and seemed inclined to stick around.
Somebody has to still be sad.
Luci.
Breaking a grown woman’s heart is one thing. Doing the same to a child was unforgivable.
Was I playing too loosely with Delphine and Annie’s hearts? Was I setting us all up for heartbreak?
The truth is, I’d run from any hint of love for most of my life. I’d blamed the Navy when I was still enlisted. But now? Was I really ready to give my whole self the way Mark had? Take on someone else’s child? A child who had been through more than her share of tragedy?
What if my feelings for Delphine were just convenient? We were in each other’s orbits. The last single people in a friend group. Was that all this was? My yearning to finally settle down? How did I know if Delphine was the one? And how could I find out without jeopardizing Annie’s well-being? I could feel her getting attached to me. Heck, I was getting attached to her too. If I hurt her, I would never forgive myself.
I would slow down. Not spend every night with her like I had been. Give us time to be really sure.
Was that slowing down or running?
The phone lit up on the passenger seat.Delphine. She was calling to see how it went. She’d probably waited until she knew I was on my way home. My instinct was to answer and tell her everything about the wedding and Luci, even my own conflictedfeelings. But that wasn’t fair to her. I couldn’t bring that kind of intimacy to our relationship this soon. Even though I wanted to.
So I didn’t answer. I let it go to voicemail, peering through the fog, that white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel reminding me how alone I truly was.
I had to be sure. But I didn’t know how. How did anyone take such a leap of faith as Becca and Mark had done today? Would I ever be ready?
Whatever the answers, I knew one thing for sure. Annie Delacroix had been through enough. I had to handle her tender heart with more care than I’d ever done anything in my life, which scared me more than anything ever had.
20
DELPHINE
I'd timed the call to Dorian, calculating the ceremony, the photos, the cake, maybe dancing, then the coastal road home. It had rang and rang some more. I counted—four, five—and somewhere in the counting an awful feeling crept up the back of my spine. He wasn’t answering. He saw the call and chose not to answer. I don’t know how I knew it to be true. I just did. I’d been emotionally left behind once. I could see it for what it was now.
I didn't leave a voice message. Instead, I sat at the kitchen table with the phone face-up in front of me and composed a text.
Hope today wasn't too brutal.
No. Brutal was presumptuous since I hadn’t been there. I hadn't beenaskedto be there.
Thinking of you.
God, no. I deleted it, character by character, as if the speed of deletion were relevant. What was I even doing? Analyzing three-word texts? When had I become this pathetic? This was not me. I didn’t beg for attention from a man. If he didn’t want to talk to me, fine. I wasn’t some lovesick girl.
Something had changed, though. I could feel it in my bones. He’d never once not answered my call. Something happened at the wedding that made him want to distance himself.
I deleted the text and opened my friends group chat instead.
Delphine
