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‘Why do you ask?’
‘I just want to know. I feel like I’ve missed a big part of this.’
‘I’m only four months along, Leo,’ Margo said, but she relaxed slightly because she believed him. This wasn’t a trap. Not with the sincerity she heard in his voice and her feet tucked under his legs.
‘I had no idea at the start,’ she began. ‘I was on the pill, as you know. I didn’t even miss taking one.’
‘Then how did you get pregnant?’
‘The day after...’ She swallowed, felt a blush heat her cheeks and hoped Leo couldn’t see in the dark. ‘The day after I saw you I slept in. I took the pill three hours later than I normally would.’
‘And that was enough to keep it from working?’
With a self-conscious laugh she patted her little bump. ‘Apparently the mini-pill has to be taken at exactly the same time every day—although I didn’t know things were quite that strict until it was too late.’
‘You must have been shocked.’
‘I was in a complete daze. I...I didn’t know what I was going to do.’ She hesitated in making that admission, afraid that Leo would use it against her, but he just nodded.
‘That’s understandable.’
‘So for a while I didn’t do anything. And then I felt so sick I couldn’t do anything but drag myself through each day. When I went to the doctor to get some medication for my nausea he said something—just a throwaway comment about how such sickness usually meant the baby was healthy. “Here to stay,” is what he said. And I knew that he was speaking the truth. That this baby was here to stay...that my inertia had been out of—well, out of fear,’ she said.
Suddenly she realised just how much she was revealing. But she hadn’t talked about this to anyone, and it felt good to unburden herself a little. Or even a lot.
‘Fear?’ Leo frowned. ‘What are you afraid of?’
So many things. ‘Of what the future would look like,’ Margo answered, knowing she was hedging. ‘Of how it would work. And of how you would take the news—what it would mean.’
‘And so you decided to ask me to marry you?’ Leo said. ‘I still don’t understand that, Margo.’
She swallowed, her throat feeling tight and sore. ‘I grew up without a father,’ she said after a brief pause. ‘I didn’t want the same for my child.’
He was silent for a moment. Then, ‘I don’t actually know anything about your childhood.’
And there was a very good reason for that. ‘We didn’t share many confidences, really, during our...’ She trailed off.
‘Our fling?’ Leo filled in tonelessly.
‘Yes.’
Even though her toes were still tucked under his warm thigh she felt a coolness in the air, tension tauten between them. It was a timely reminder of just what they’d had together...and what they had now.
‘You want this baby,’ Leo said slowly, a statement.
He lifted his head to look her straight in the face, and even in the darkness she could see the serious, intent look on his face, although she didn’t know what it meant.
‘Yes, I do.’
‘You’ve changed in that, then?’
She took a deep breath and nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
She stared at him, knowing he deserved to know at least this much. ‘I didn’t want children before because I was afraid,’ she said slowly. ‘Afraid of loving someone...and losing them. Or of getting it wrong. Parenting is a huge responsibility, Leo. The biggest.’
‘But one you feel ready to take on now?’
‘With your help.’
Except she didn’t feel ready, not remotely. She felt inadequate and afraid and guilty. Because she wasn’t sure she deserved another chance with someone’s life.
‘I will help you, Margo,’ Leo said. ‘We can do this. Together.’
She smiled even as she blinked back tears. She wanted to believe him. She almost did.
‘I hope the tea helps you sleep,’ he said, nodding towards her cup.
Margo knew he was about to leave and realised she didn’t want him to.
‘Leo...thank you,’ she said, her voice both hurried and soft.
He stopped and turned to look at her in surprise. ‘What are you thanking me for?’
‘For...for being kind.’
He let out a huff of sound—almost a laugh. ‘I don’t think I’ve actually been very kind to you, Margo.’
‘I know you were angry. I know you thought I’d cheated on you—maybe you still do. But even so you’ve agreed to marry me, and you’ve—you’ve shown concern for my welfare. I do appreciate that.’
