“All the bad things you’ve done, all the bad things I’ve done, all the bad things even your mom has done.”
“Mommy doesn’t do bad things.”
That was sweet, but “We all have, honey.”
“Even Grandma?”
“Yep.”
“Wow.”
Yep.She was glad that Bella couldn’t see it, but it was like having a rest had given her enough perspective to see that her mom, for all the good things she’d done, hadn’t always helped Gen.By insisting on hard work at the expense of friends, by insisting on not telling Kyle about his child, by repeating a constant mantra of independence, Gen had learned some bad habits over the years.And yes, it wasn’t all her mom’s fault—Gen wasn’t a victim and could recognize she’d had a sizable part to play in these faults too—but there were habits and attitudes that had proved hard to break.And had proved unhealthy and unsustainable, until Kyle had stepped in and showed a different way.
So, no.Mom wasn’t perfect.And neither was Gen.Or anyone, really.
She glanced out at the sunset.The color was deeper now.More orange and magenta.
“So how does Jesus take the punishment?”Bella asked.“What does that mean?”
“It means that none of us are good enough to get to heaven by our own efforts,” Kyle said.“Even when we try to do good we still all fall short, and we can feel ashamed, and carry our guilt like a weight in our hearts.”
Oh, Gen knew that only too well.Guilt at spoiling her own mother’s life by being the unwanted pregnancy, even though Mom had never said that.Then there was guilt at turning around and doing the same.Guilt at not telling Kyle.Guilt at resenting her mom’s many interferences, even when Gen knew she was just trying to do her best.Guilt at Lily’s death.Guilt at so many other patients, other people, she had failed.So many, many failures.
Her eyes pricked.She was so tired of it all.
“So, what do we do?”Bella asked.
Bless her for asking all the right questions.
“God says that all we have to do is believe in Jesus, believe that He died on a cross for us, then repent from all the wrong stuff we’ve done, and turn to God.To trust God and follow Jesus.”
“But I thought you said that Jesus was dead.”
“He died on the cross, yes, but then He rose again.”
“Whoa!”
“Right?How cool is that?”
“But how could Jesus rise from the dead?Like, how do people know?”
“Because people saw Him, spoke to Him.One person even put his hands in the wounds on Jesus’s side.”
“That’s so weird.Wouldn’t Jesus have been like a ghost?”
“Nope.The Bible talks about all kinds of witnesses who saw Him alive.That He even ate food.I don’t think ghosts can do that.”
“But people don’t come back to life.”Bella glanced at Gen.“Do they, Mommy?”
While technically true, she suddenly could remember times when inexplicable things had happened.People who had prayed then had seen their loved ones come back to life.And yes, there might be scientific reasons sometimes, but she’d heard stories of other things, like people who had been pronounced dead and sent to a morgue who had suddenly come back to life, that sent tingles along her spine.Maybe if God really was responsible for creating the world, then He was big enough to bring His son back to life.So yes, while she’d seen plenty of the opposite too, she couldn’t deny that “Sometimes people do come back to life.”She shrugged.“But they always die eventually.”
Kyle was watching her closely.“Jesus came back to life.And unlike anybody else who might’ve died and come back to life, He didn’t die again.The Bible talks about how He was taken up into heaven while lots of people watched.”
“No way.”Bella’s eyes were huge.“Like beam me up, Scotty?”
“Better than that.Because this isn’t some science fiction movie, but it’s actually real.And I know it’s real because I’ve seen the way that God has made a difference in my life.”
“How?”
