“Does God hear us better when our eyes are closed?”
“No, but we concentrate better when our eyes are closed.And this is an important prayer.In fact, it’s the most important prayer you’ll ever pray, so we want to concentrate, okay?”
“Okay.”Bella closed her eyes obediently, and Kyle did the same.
And Gen followed suit.
“So, Bella, repeat after me, Lord Jesus, I believe You are God’s son.”
“Lord Jesus, I believe You are God’s son,” Bella repeated.
Lord Jesus, I believe You are God’s son.
“Thank You for dying on that cross and for paying the price for all of my sin.”
“Thank You for dying on that cross and for paying the price for all of my sin,” Bella echoed.
Thank You for dying on that crossand for paying the price for all of my sin.All of my sin.All of it.All.
“Thank You it’s not about how good I am but about how good You are.”
Bella echoed it aloud, and Gen did silently.
“Lord, I’m sorry for all the wrong stuff I’ve done.I want to live for You.”
Lord, I’m sorry for all the wrong stuff I’ve done.I want to live for You.
“I believe that I’m Your child, and I’ve been made new.”
Bella continued to repeat each line aloud, while Gen prayed silently.
I believe that I’m Your child, and I’ve been made new.Made new.Made new!
“Have Your way in my life.And help me live for You.”
Have Your way in my life.And help me live for You.Your way, God.Not mine.
“In the name of Jesus, Amen.”
“In the name of Jesus, Amen.”
Amen.
Gen’s eyes opened, met Bella’s.
Bella grinned.“Amen means we all agree, Mom.”
She nodded.“Yes.”
Kyle’s eyes widened a little, but she couldn’t speak, couldn’t even look at him, and never was so thankful for Bella’s chatter as something seemed to shift inside.
Tears rushed to her eyes, then released, as a kind of awe-filled wonder swept across her.How could an innocent man have died for her?What extraordinary love God had demonstrated toward her—toward all people, so many of whom might never believe.She couldn’t believe it.Yet she also could.Because that warm love Kyle had talked about seemed to be flowing into those empty spaces of her heart.Filling her with something that felt a little like… peace.
She closed her eyes, too intent on the shift within that felt impossible yet also very real.The broken shards of pain and regrets were swept away, replaced by the strangest sense of assurance.Like these words, these promises, that Kyle had claimed were true for her too.That she didn’t need to keep playing a game she’d never win.She could jump off into the Savior’s arms, and know He’d catch her and hold her safely.
Oh, how wonderful to know this was not about her own efforts, so she could step off this endless hamster wheel of obligations and expectations and trying to keep up.She didn’t have to keep up.She never could, anyway.But she didn’t have to, because God had said “I love you anyway, even with all your failures, I love you.”
God, her Heavenly Father, who loved her so much He’d given up His own son.
