“Then, sorry.” She stood up abruptly. “I’ll be better.”
“Lara, what’s going on?” I asked her, feeling frustrated and upset. “Why are you being this way?”
“I’m not being any way. I’m just tired.” She closed her eyes and sighed deeply before looking at me again.
“I’ve missed you,” I said sincerely, not knowing why I was telling her that. “I’ve missed hanging out with you and talking to you and spending time with you.”
“Thanks,” she said and gave me a weak smile.
“I know you don’t or won’t believe me, but I value your presence in my life.” I felt empty inside as I stared at her. “I miss being with you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry about what I said about Luke.” I made a face. “Maybe I’m wrong.” I sighed. “Maybe I just said that because I wanted you to go off him. Maybe I’m jealous that you’re seeing someone.” The words tripped out of my mouth uncomfortably and we both just stood there and stared at each other for a few seconds. “Say something, Lara.”
“I don’t know what to say, Parker.” She sounded exasperated. “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I like you? Is that what you want to hear?”
“You like me?” My heart raced at her words and I grinned at her.
“Don’t act like you didn’t know.” She rolled her eyes at me, but I could see her face flushing as she tried to read me. “This is hard for me, Parker. You’re confusing me. You’re so hot and cold, and I just don’t know what you want from me. What you think of me, you know? I just don’t understand you.”
“I don’t understand me sometimes, either.” I flashed her a small smile. “Come back with me to my place,” I asked her softly. “We can talk.” I walked toward her. “I want us to be on the same page. I don’t want you to think I’m being hot and cold. I like you as well, Lara,” I said and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. “I really do like you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently.” I paused, not knowing what else to say. I wasn’t comfortable talking about feelings and I honestly didn’t really know what I felt. I knew I’d been unhappy. I knew I missed her. I knew I’d felt guilty. I knew I wanted her in my life. But aside from that, I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t want to lie to her. I didn’t want to tell her things that weren’t true just becauseI thought she’d want to hear them. I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t really know how I felt.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Parker.” She stumbled over her words hesitantly and I knew she wasn’t sure if she should come over.
“Please,” I asked her softly. “Just come over and let’s really talk and get over everything. I want everything to be normal between us again. We can watch a movie and eat ice cream. I know you love that.”
“You don’t want to watch a movie and eat ice cream,” she said with a smile.
“With you, I do,” I said with a nod. And I was being honest. I’d do anything in this moment just to be with her and make everything right in the world. I needed everything to go back to the way it was. I needed her to be okay with me. I needed to feel normal inside. I was fed up with the anxiety and angst. That wasn’t who I was. That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to feel this way. And I knew the only way to get rid of it was for Lara to forgive me so we could move on with our friendship and continue as we were. That’s all I wanted and needed.
“Okay,” she said uncertainly. “I’ll come and watch a movie with you, if you let me choose the movie.”
“Oh God, you’re going to pick a chick flick, aren’t you?” I groaned, and she laughed.
“Hey, you’re the one who wants me to come over.”
“Fine.” I made a face. “Just nothing too icky.”
“We’ll see,” she said lightheartedly, and I felt my stomach settling slightly. Things were starting to get back to normal. She was laughing with me and looking me in the eyes. I could tell that her icy exterior was melting and she was warming to me once again. Everything in my world would be back to normal soon.
“Bridget Jones’s Diary? Really?”I groaned as I leaned back on the couch and stared at the TV screen. “That’s what we’re watching?”
“Hey, you’re lucky I’m here watching anything with you.” Lara shook her head and giggled slightly. “Mila thinks I’m crazy and I think I’m crazy, so you should thank your lucky stars.”
“You’re not crazy.” I laughed. “At least not crazier than any other girl.”
“Why, thanks, don’t I feel special.” Lara pouted at me and I leaned over to tickle her.
“You should feel special. You should feel very special,” I said as she giggled and pulled away from me.
“Parker, stop it.” She squealed as I continued to make her squirm.
“Why?” I asked her softly, my face close to hers as I continued to tickle her under the arms, enjoying being close to her.
“Because we’re meant to be watching this movie,” she said between laughs, her eyes bright as she gazed at me.
“You watch and I tickle. Seems like a fair deal,” I said, my face close to hers now. “Right?”
