“I could hardly go to you about you,” Lara said softly. “Anyways, what do you care?”
“Oh, Lara, I’ve really and truly confused you, haven’t I? I suppose it makes sense, though. I’ve been so confused myself. Not only was I lying to you, but I was lying to myself as well.”
“Lying about what, exactly?”
“Lying that I didn’t care. Lying that I didn’t know that you cared. Lying that I thought this was casual. Lying that I was okay with it being casual. Lying that I was okay with you going on dates. Lying that I was okay with you dating Luke. Lying that I wanted to go on dates with other women. Lying that I was thinking about other women aside from you. Lying that I wasn’t thinking about you all the time. Lying that we were just friends. Lying that I didn’t want more. Lying that I couldn’t give you more. Lying that this wasn’t something special. Lying that the feeling in my heart wasn’t love.” I paused then and watchedher face as she gasped and stared at me with wide eyes. I knew in that instant that whatever she’d felt for me hadn’t faded completely.
The light that shone in her eyes, the way she looked at me, the sudden glow that she had... It meant something. It meant I still had a chance. All I needed was one last chance. All I needed was for Lara to know that I knew I’d screwed up. I knew that I had broken her, not intentionally, never intentionally. It killed me to think she’d been in pain because I’d been such an idiot, but I wanted to make it up to her. I needed to make it up to her. I needed her to know I wanted to spend the rest of my life making it up to her, showing her that I wasn’t going to be afraid of my feelings anymore. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone. I wanted to give her everything she wanted. I wanted to stop lying to her and myself. I wanted to be the man she wanted me to be. I wanted to be the man she thought I was. I wanted to prove to her that my love and my heart were hers forever and I never wanted her to ever have to doubt that again.
Chapter 20
Lara
I thoughtmy heart was going to pop out of my chest. That’s how fast it was racing. I felt like I was inThe Twilight Zoneand I wanted to pinch myself. Was I really and truly here with Parker and had he really just said that he loved me? This couldn’t be happening. This was all too surreal. Parker was not here, with me, in my living room, telling me he’d been lying to me. Things like this didn’t happen in real life. People didn’t all of a sudden love you. He didn’t all of a sudden love me. Prayers didn’t really come true. I didn’t understand.I must be dreaming. I must be dreaming.I pinched myself and it hurt and I knew then that this wasn’t a dream. My heart started racing then and I could feel life stirring back into my cold body. Was Parker really here making me a believer once again?
“I’m glad I met you as a little girl,” Parker said with a small smile on his face, and I frowned.
“Why?” I gazed into his eyes that were staring at me openly with love, and I swallowed hard.
“Because.”
“Because why?” I wanted to ask him if this was some sort of cruel joke, but I was scared of his answer.
“Because this way I know I’m your true love.”
“Parker! Is this a joke?” I looked at him in shock. Was that something romantic coming out of his mouth? And what did he know about true love? And did he think I loved him? Oh, God, did he know?
“Of course not.” He shook his head.
“How do you know you’re my true love, then?” I grinned at him, unable to stop myself. I didn’t care if he knew I loved him, if he loved me as well.
“Because you’re mine,” he said simply, and my heart froze.
“Say that again,” I whispered.
“Say what?” He grimaced, looking slightly embarrassed, and I laughed at the expression on his face. So awkward and slightly worried. Maybe he wasn’t as sure about my feelings as he was letting on.
“You know.”
“I know nothing.”
“Parker!”
“That’s my name.”
“I’m your true love?”
“I said it.”
“You don’t believe in true love, though, as you’ve told me several times.”
“I believe in you,” he said simply, his eyes shining brightly, and I felt like the sun had come out in my living room, such was the light shining through my heart and soul.
“Thank you.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly and I felt his fingers grasping mine. I looked over at him and he had a small smile on his face.
“Don’t go expecting me to send any sappy poetry or lines from books, though.” He laughed.
“You’d love it.” I grinned, though. I knew I would love it as well.
