So, how could she nap when she was well aware she would have died had this man not come to her aid? She was uncomfortable in the knowledge that, not only was she beholden to him, there was a strange closeness between them now. It was as though their minds were connected by some invisible force. And, though she wished she could ignore it, she couldn't.
She wondered, by the simple act of drawing close to Eagle Heart, had she committed an act against her moral character? Against Thomas? Her status as an engaged woman hadn't changed. And yet, she trembled at Eagle Heart's touch.
What did this mean about her? About him?
She was reluctant to answer these questions, however, even if they were only asked silently and to herself. Only a short time ago, she'd asked him why he had come to her aid, and her inquiry had been a serious one. She wondered again, why had he really come to assist her?
He'd told her about his attraction to her. But, he'd also said it was his duty. Could she believe this?
She wasn't certain, but it did cause her to wonder about the duty of her father and Thomas to find her and give her aid. Were they even now looking for her? She assumed they were. But, they did not have the same skills in this country as Eagle Heart. Indeed, they might never have found her in time to prevent her passing away from this earthly realm.
Regardless of her feeling of guilt, she whispered a prayer of thanks to the Lord for sending Eagle Heart to her.
At least she could rest assured that once the storm abated her family would find her. But, an odd thought struck her: did she wish to be found?
It was a dangerous consideration, and, unfortunately for her, she wavered back and forth between wanting to like Eagle Heart, for it was good and natural to do so. Yet, she knew she must not like him too greatly.
This worried her. He had gone out of his way to explain why he would not attempt to draw her into lovemaking. Yet, if he did ask her, she knew she would feel obligated to do it.
Also, was he really so honorable? She'd heard so many bad things about the Indians' character, from her father, from Thomas and from other traders, how could she trust Eagle Heart to his word?
Without warning, she recalled that he'd had to undress her. She understood this, for her dress had most likely been wet and frozen to her skin. But, as she lay here beneath the warmth of buckskin and fur, her nudity caused her a certain amount of panic.
The problem was, she didn't have any experience in these matters. And, there was another factor to be considered: because he had saved her from death, wasn't it true in both their cultures that she now belonged to him?
He hadn't mentioned this, although she had thought of it. Wasn't this another one of those natural laws? Again, she heard her grandmother's warning to her so many years ago:
"When a person saves another's life, it is the duty of the one saved to return the deed. Unless this comes to pass, the one saved is forever bound to his or her rescuer. If this ever happens to you, my child, remember this: do not be like me. Return the favor, if you can."
Her grandmother had been forced to marry her husband only because he had once saved her life. It had been done in a time long passed, when a father considered it his right to press his daughter into such a marriage, even though his daughter had objected.
Laylah sighed. Not only was she tired, her thoughts were becoming burdensome. So much was this true, she wanted to go to sleep and simply forget her worries. Yet, she couldn't. She couldn't stop thinking and worrying about the future...her future. Worse, now that she was awake, she was becoming more and more aware of another concern: she was very hungry.
Eagle Heart had said he would bring her food and water, but even in this, she fretted over another very real problem. Food and water would surely cause her the need to relieve herself again, and Eagle Heart had already informed her he would have to accompany her.
She cried aloud. How she wished she had not ridden out onto the prairie yesterday.
It was upon this unpleasant thought when Eagle Heart reentered their tiny earthen shelter. Briefly, a cold wind accompanied him, and she pulled the leather coverlet closer around her. Looking up at him as he squatted by the entrance—their abode was too small to allow a man to stand upright—she saw the several inches of snow covering the cap on his head; his leather cape was coated with snow, also, and his moccasins appeared to be white instead of tan. He caught her looking at him and smiled. But, she glanced away.
He seemed unaffected by her attempt at indifference, however. She listened to the sounds of him throwing off his cape and hat, and, when he approached her with the dried meat and cold water, she found she was quite willing to accept the gifts.
He came to squat at her left side and asked by way of gestures, "If I help you, do you think you can sit up?"
"I will try," she answered.
It was accomplished with some difficulty, considering her lack of dress and the necessity to keep herself covered. Yet, it was worth the effort for she was now in a position to feed herself. He'd set her up against what felt like the trunk of a tree at her back, and she wondered how he had constructed this shelter and what, besides the boughs of trees, he had used to stabilize this tiny refuge, for it was keeping the snow, as well as the wind, at bay.
He sat next to her, his legs crossed American Indian style, and began to offer her one piece after another of the dried meat, then he presented her with water from a pouch he carried. Oh, the water was cold.
She found she didn't wish to consume too much of the food, however, even though she was hungry. After all, she didn't know how much of the fare he had packed nor how long the storm would last.
These worries plagued her further, yet, strangely, when she glanced up at him and he smiled at her, her fears seemed to lessen. She ate one more piece of the dried meat and washed it down with the cold water. Only then did she return his grin.
"Thank you," she said aloud, then translated the words into sign.
He nodded, the movement slight. "Are you finished eating so soon?"
"I am," she signed.
