"Indeed, I am." Sharon smiled.
Am I really?
Amelia nodded, then said, "I feel so bad about what happened to you, and I am also sorry you will still have to be apart from David for a few more days."
"Yes," said Sharon. "Thank you for your sympathy on my behalf." She glanced away from her friend. Shouldn't she be feeling a bit more enthusiastic about returning to their camp, since she now knew David was there and was well?
Presently, Sweet Woman joined them and Amelia and Sweet Woman began a conversation in the language of sign. But, Sharon didn't mind not being a part of their exchange; it allowed her to examine her thoughts more carefully, and her mind turned to other matters pressing in upon her.
Why had David abandoned her to her fate, there on the bluff during the morning hours of the Crow attack? Perhaps he had assumed she was well hidden from the war party?
Of course this must be the reason. Had he known she was in trouble, he would have come to her defense.
Sharon sighed, at once relieved. Indeed, it was true; David would have never left her had he known she was in danger.
Still, something was not right. But, what it was, she did not know. Nonetheless, she felt anxious about returning to the main Pikuni encampment.
But, perhaps her anxiety over returning there was to be expected. After all, it was only five or six days ago when the huge and ugly Crow warrior had stolen her away from the Pikuni. She remembered how it had been when, upon seeing Strikes Fast enter into the lodge of her abductor, the trauma and worry over what was to be her fate had turned from despair into hope.
Truly, at that moment he had seemed to be more angel than human being. She still thought of him in this role, but perhaps not as angelic as she had then supposed him to be. Indeed, closer contact with him had caused her to understand he was as human as she, which made his heroics even greater.
Though she was now sitting quietly with her two friends around the fire, it seemed odd that in the space of a few days she had run the entire gamut of emotions, from utter despair to the height of expectation.
Perhaps these heightened emotions were what others meant when they discussed the "charm" of the West. But, if this were true and if this were what the West was all about, did she really wish to stay here?
Sharon sighed, feeling more and more out of place in this vast and wild land. Yet, because she had been raised as an orphan, she felt as equally dislocated in St. Louis. Still, the culture in St. Louis was at least known to her. This western country, however, was not.
She frowned.
Maybe, since her friend Amelia was now safely married to her Indian sweetheart, the time had come for Sharon to return to what was known to her and was safe. St. Louis wasn't a bad village, and, despite having no family there, with David at her side, she could resume her life there and be happy.
But, there now seemed to be complications in even returning to the fort and, if she couldn't get there and soon, what was she to do?
Because the trading season was at an end, both of her friends—Amelia and Amelia's sister, Laylah—would leave the fort soon with their husbands, returning to their husbands' homes in the north. Of course, she and David could go with them; her friends would not leave them behind.
But, did she wish to go with them—away from the fort? After all, Fort McKenzie was the only place in this wild environment where the steamboats ran, and since the steamboats were her only means of returning to St. Louis and starting her life there anew, wouldn't it be wise to stay close to the fort?
There was also David to be considered: would he wish to go back to the village of St. Louis, having now quenched his thirst for the wild and free life? She hoped so; yet, if he chose to remain, would she stay, also?
Sweet Woman and Amelia ended their conversation, and Sweet Woman, looking at Sharon, smiled at her before she arose and paced away from them toward their newly formed hut.
Both Sharon and Amelia had been sitting quietly for a few moments when Amelia said, "I believe this is all my fault."
Sharon was startled and a little puzzled about why her friend would feel this way. Was it because of the Crow raid upon the Pikuni camp?
But, Amelia was continuing to speak and she said, "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have come here to find yourself stolen away by a Crow warrior."
Oh.At last, Sharon understood. Reaching out to place her hand over her friend's, Sharon said, "It isnotyour fault. I am the one who insisted I come with you. I am also the one who enlisted David to keep us company—not that he needed much encouragement." She smiled, remembering how excited David had been at the prospect of journeying into the territory of the Blackfeet. "Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I had let you come here alone? Do not think of it. It isnotyour fault."
"But—"
"Please, consider it no longer. You are the sister I never had. Truly, you have become my family, and I could no more have let you come here alone than I could stop myself from breathing. What happened is not your fault, and I beg you to please cease thinking you are somehow to blame. Always I will treasure this time I have spent here."
"Really? Thank you, Sharon. I appreciate your words to me. But, am I hearing this correctly? Are you planning to leave here?"
"Yes, I fear I am," answered Sharon. "Indeed, I am thinking I would like to be on the first steamship going east to Fort Union, and, from there, south to St. Louis. Now that you are safely and lovingly married to Gray Falcon and have found your sister again, I feel I might like to return to St. Louis. That is," she continued with a smile, "if I can convince David to make the trip with me."
Amelia laughed. "Yes, there is that."
