"I…I thank you," she said in English, following the words with sign.
He nodded briefly, smiled, then asked, "If you discovered you loved me and were made a part of my family, why, then, did you leave?"
Again there was the same direct question. Biting her lip, she looked away from him. Meanwhile, she could see no discernible movement from him. Indeed, it appeared to her as if he were patient enough to wait out her delay in answering him.
Bravely she decided she would ask a question of him, indirectly hinting at what could be a true, real answer to his inquiry. In sign, she asked, "Are you certain you want me as your woman?" And, as she watched him closely to see what his response might be, she saw a startled look come over his countenance.
Yet, he paused only a moment before he signed, "I want you as my woman. I am not confused about this. Has this one"—he pointed to himself—"acted in a way to make you think I do not wish this?"
"No," she signed, shaking her head.
Again she looked away from him, fearful of what he might think or do if she were to tell him how physical she and David had been with one another. Wouldn't an Indian man, like a white man, be inclined more toward marriage with a woman who had never known the touch of another man?
Yet, when he reached up a hand to gently turn her head toward him, he signed, "I do not understand what troubles you so much to cause you to ask this of me. Does this have anything to do with your leaving?"
"I…I," she responded in English, but she couldn't look at him. Instead, she reverted to biting her lip.
Gaining her attention, he signed, "I am here. You are here. Because we are now a man and his woman, you may use me to unburden your worries. I will listen. This, as I understand it, is one of my duties as your husband. But, I have a question for you: does this worry of yours have to do with the white man you once planned to marry?"
Sharon couldn't look at him, and she found she couldn't answer him, either. And, when she didn't answer, he touched her shoulder, bringing her attention to him again. Then he signed, "I would have to be a blind man to have not seen the connection between your leaving us and the white painter seeking to strike you. Also, I should mention I know it was he who misused you and married another in your absence, breaking his pledge to you. It was not the opposite."
She sobbed a little, and she could not meet his eyes. Yes, she knew it would be better for them both if she could tell him about her misdeed. But, she didn't wish to tell him anything about David nor about her. Simply, he might lose his respect for her, and he might not wish to—
Strikes Fast reached up to touch her shoulder again, bringing her attention back to him, and he signed, "There should be no secrets between us. A man and his woman should be as one, and this cannot come to be if we cannot fully trust one another. Would it help you to speak of what troubles you if I were to tell you whyyoumight not wish to be my woman? When I once said to you that I am not worthy to be anyone's husband, I was not lying to you."
She signed, "And, I once told you I do not care what you have done in your past. I love you because of who you are now. My love will not die regardless of what you tell me."
"And yet, I, like you, fear to tell it to you," he signed. "Truly, I think you might change your mind about me."
She shook her head. "It will not happen. When I said I love you because of who you are, I meant it."
He took hold of her hand then and signed with his other hand, "But, do you know who I really am?"
"Of course, I do."
He shook his head and signed, "Before you say this, I should tell you about what I have done. In this way, perhaps you might come to know that nothing you have done, or will yet do, would cause me to depart from you. Perhaps also it might help to show you how much courage you really have if I go first and tell you my story. But, if what I say to you begins to worry you about who I have come to be, you have only to tell me and we will become again an almost brother and sister."
"Please. I am sorry if I have given you the impression I am so weak," she signed. "I will not change my mind."
He sighed, then moved his couch a little closer to hers. "Then, come close to me to give me courage to tell you what I have done before I knew you."
"You? Need courage? You, who have risked your life to save mine three times now? Lack courage? I don't believe it."
"My wife, you flatter me. In this conversation we must have, yes, I lack the courage to tell you what I must," he signed, and then, reaching out, he came to his knees, picked her up into his arms and carried her to one of their sleeping robes. Setting her down upon it, he lay next to her and brought her in as closely as possible to him.
At once, Sharon felt her desire for this man become a storm within her, and tiny sparks flickered between them. But then, changing positions again, Strikes Fast came up over her and kissed her hungrily, as though only with the reassurance of her love could he tell her what needed to be said.
It started out as a desirous, yet chaste kiss between them, but it quickly turned to raw need, and Sharon, aware of what might lie ahead of them, kissed him back with all the heat and fervor of the love within her heart. And, when he broke off the kiss to extend the caress to one of her ears and then to the other, she thought she might faint from the simple pleasure of it.
Every nerve fiber in her body seemed to be exploding at the exact same time and, as a white-hot fire shot through her, she arched up toward him, asking him for more. He did not refuse her unspoken invitation, and, when his lips came back to hers, he urged them open and there explored her mouth with so great a passion, she arched her bosom up again toward him, further inviting his caress.
On and on, they explored and kissed, his tongue prying open her lips to play with her tongue as though he were making love to her with a caress alone.
It could have gone on forever, with her on the brink of sweet passion, but, as though even he were too consumed with desire, he brought his face up over hers, and, reaching down, once again wiped the black paint from her lips.
He smiled at her, then signed, "I forgot I still wear this paint." Without leaving her completely, he reached out for one of their robes, and, bringing it in close, wiped the paint from his face. Grinning a little, he signed, "I do not need to scare you, I think."
She laughed and watched as his gaze, so passionate, followed her lips. He signed, "You are beautiful."
