As he gazed up at her, his eyes looked curiously wet, causing her to frown. But then, the both of them had only nowreturned from their morning toiletries as well as tending to the wolf and his pony. They had eaten a little breakfast from one of the parfleche bags Red Fox had tied to his horse. And, having done so and no longer hungry, they were ready to embark upon this conversation he seemed reluctant to share with her.
Sitting close together, he with his legs crossed and she with her legs bent toward her right side, he at last began, and he said, "There is much I do not speak of because I am prohibited from saying too much about this part of my life."
She nodded slightly, hoping to encourage him to say more.
He continued. "Besides being your tutor and a scout and teaching you what I know about this life on the prairie, I am also a medicine man. True, my medicine does not extend to using it for my people…at least not yet. But, one day I hope to be of help to my people who are sick and are in need of what a medicine man can do for them. For now, I use my skills with the animals, and in this, I have been successful."
Once again she said nothing, though she nodded.
"It is this I must tell you, and yet…I cannot do so for fear it will cause you pain."
"Cause me pain?" she asked. "I do not understand."
He looked away from her, his gaze appearing to be interested in the entrance to their shelter. He inhaled deeply.
Hoping to embolden him, she asked, "Please, won't you tell me what this is?"
Again he said nothing.
"Is it really so very bad?" she asked. "I mean, it's not like my marrying another and then living with you here instead of returning to the East would cause you a problem, is it?"
He said nothing. He did nothing. He didn't even move.
"Is it?" she asked again. "Are you trying to tell me you wouldn't be able to live with me?"
Once more, as he sat silent before her, his gaze was still fixated elsewhere.
"If it be this you are hesitant to tell me, why would you not be able to live with me as your woman?"
Again he said nothing. Nor did he seem to move or to even blink. What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't or couldn't he say a word?
She asked, "Am I right? Is this what you have to tell me? And, if it is, why wouldn't it work for us?"
When he looked back at her at last, there was moisture in his eyes as he tried to speak, but his lips were quivering and he couldn't seem to say a word, though he began to speak several times.
Trying to take hold of the situation between them, she spoke up and said, "I can see you are upset. Is it because you could not marry me if I already have a husband elsewhere, even though I would not really be married to Maximillian?"
Still silent, he, at length, signed, "No."
"Then, what is it you are trying to tell me?"
Looking up at him, she saw a tear run down his cheek, but still he said nothing; he didn't even wipe the tear away. Finally, however, he began to sign, and he said in that silent language, "I will tell you as well as I can. It is this: if you defy your God as you think might be necessary, I cannot be truly married to you."
She didn't even blink. Here it was now: this is what she had feared.
He went on to sign, "Nor could I live with you."
Stunned, she sat silent for a moment. Then she asked, "You could not even live with me?"
Still signing, he said, "I could not."
When she gasped, he went on to sign, "Perhaps I should have told you this when we saw one another for the first time after these last two winters apart, but I did not know then whatI know now about your plans and what you have had to do and to promise so you might return to this, our country. What I must say to you now is what I am required to say. Forgive me for not telling you this before now. There is a code of conduct a medicine man must follow if he is to help those in need. This, the Creator reminded me of recently when I prayed to Him about our predicament. But, the Creator is good, and He put into my mind a path by which we could remain together as a man and his woman. And so, I came to envision a way I believed might work to keep us together."
"Is it to go to the Gros Ventre camp?"
"Yes," he signed. "If I could convince you to go away with me and live elsewhere, forcing this man and his mistress to return to where they came from, it would solve my problem and yours. But, I did not also at the same time see how this might affect you in a bad way. Your word of honor is pledged, and although you told me this from the start, I did not fully realize then what I know now: I cannot be a part of forcing you to go against your sacred word, nor can I be a part of compelling you to break an oath you must give to your God…if you marry this man."
"But, I—"
