But Red Fox was there beside him. “Is she not?”
Swift Hawk didn’t answer.
“My friend,” offered Red Fox, “I mean no dishonor. But I remember your telling me that sheisyour wife, that the spirits showed this to you, and that you are only awaiting her announcement to her people.”
Swift Hawk knelt at the side of the buffalo, and taking his knife in hand, began to skin the beast. Over his shoulder, he responded, “I spoke when I should not have. For I have since learned that the white man has many different views onmarriage. In truth, I was wrong to claim her as my own.”
“Were you?”
“Haa’he.”
“And yet, you were following your vision. That is never wrong.”
Swift Hawk cut away at the hide of the buffalo, and without looking up replied, “Perhaps my vision was given to me by evil spirits.”
“No. If that were true, there would be other signs.”
Swift Hawk sat away from the buffalo and put down his knife. Looking up at his friend, he retorted, “Haa’he, you are right, there would be other signs. And yet I know that something is wrong. I feel it. In truth, I am beginning to believe that I may be on the wrong path. Again.”
“I can understand your frustration,” stated Red Fox. “Many are the times you have tried to end this curse, and still it remains a force that enslaves your people.”
“Yes. What else must I do? Twice I have battled with the Crow. In each fight, though I won, I showed them mercy. I helped the enemy by healing their wounds. Three times I have done battle with the Cree. Each time, though I could have counted coup, I did not. I helped them, instead. Twice I have met the Pawnee in battle. And three times I have stood against the Shoshone. Again, I have shown mercy. Tell me, I have always done as I have been instructed to do. Why does the curse remain?”
“I do not know. I can only say that you must continue to follow your vision. You know that the elders would tell you this, were they here. Therefore, I, in their place, must say it in their absence. We all are aware that a man who is not following his vision is only half alive. But with you, because of the task that you carry, it is even more imperative that you remain true to that which you have been shown in your vision quest.”
Swift Hawk nodded. His friend was right. Did he not know it in his heart? Was this not the same wisdom he had beentaught all his life? He was thankful that the Creator had given him a vision, a path to travel to enlightenment. He must remain loyal to it.
Still, a man was allowed time to come to terms with the world around him. Swift Hawk had given himself seven days to stew over his loss. Perhaps that was enough.
Pride was an interesting thing, he thought. For seven days, it had kept him from following his vision; kept him here, out on the prairie, when he really wanted to be with her.
It was an odd thing, this sense of denigrated dignity. Especially since he had come to realize days ago why the angel had done as she had. He had even come to see her actions as noble, for she had considered the good of all in her plan—himself, her brother, herself.
Though seven days ago he had accused her of flirtation, upon reflection, he knew this could not be true. It was not so because he had touched, had been touched by her spirit. And when this has happened to a man, there are no barriers.
He understood her.
Alas, he understood why she had given herself to him physically. She had said she had done it as a gift, a return favor. Though he suspected there was more to it than that, this action demonstrated that hers was an unselfish heart.
But her gift had not been a gift alone. For him to believe that, he would have to forget that she had melted in his arms, that she had wanted his embrace, that she had begged him for it.
These were things no man could forget.
No, he was fairly convinced her problem was something else, that she was withholding something from him, something important—and worse, it was almost without doubt he knew what it was.
She loved him. He would be a fool not to recognize it.
It was there in her gaze, in her gentle touch, in the way she rejoiced in his embrace. Indeed, it was there in the way shereturned his advances.
Yet what did he have to offer her in return? The hallowed place of being second, third or fourth in his thoughts?
What she didn’t understand, and what he could not tell her, was that he was a haunted man—haunted by a duty to his people, haunted by a curse that would mark him for the rest of his days if he failed in his quest. Moreover, he could not confide his problems to her so that he could bring her to understanding.
“My friend,” Red Fox interrupted Swift Hawk’s thoughts, “you know the truth of what I say. You must continue following the path that has been shown you by the Creator.”
“Haa’he,” said Swift Hawk, “you are right, and I am glad that you have spoken to me about this.”
Red Fox nodded. “It is to be regretted that you are not free, like other men. That you cannot bestow your favor upon whomever you love. But know this. You are entrusted with a grand purpose,youwere selected. I, for one, envy you that.”
