“She’s just a girl, Sterling.” I relax my grip, just the smallest fraction. “A crush. Nothing more.” He sours at my words, his features twining in something akin to disgust or pain. But I don't care. He needs to get it through his fucking head how much of an idiot he’s being. “Don’t throw away what we have here just because you can't keep it in your pants.”
“Is that what this is?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “Jealousy?”
“No,” I say through gritted teeth, but it comes out false, weak.
He huffs out a breath of air, the noise sounding hollow since I’m still cutting off his airway. “After all this time, all the different partners we’ve taken over the years? She's not just some fling, Zeke. Nor just some fluke in our precarious brotherhood. She could be something that binds us evencloser. Not just you and I butallof us. She could heal us just as much as we are healing her.”
He drops a hand from my waist, raising it between us and wrapping his fingers around my wrist that still holds his throat. “Think about it. Why now? Whyher?”
The touch is so slight, his voice so convincing, it makes me hesitate. Only for a moment, I consider what he’s saying. But the feral look in Aamon’s eyes the night he gave his order to stay away from her flashes through my mind, as well as visions of what he might do if he finds out about Sterling’s defiance.
I shake my head, doubling down on my indifference. “I don’t know what you think you sense in her, but you’re wrong, Sterling. She is nothing to me—sure as fuck means nothing to Aamon. You need to squash these delusions about her being a part of us.”
Sterling watches me, defeat heavy in his eyes. “If you’d just—”
“I saidno.”My voice is strong, final. A small part of me breaks when Sterling flinches, and yet another side only builds with desire. I drop my hand, Stealing’s body slumping slightly against the glass door. “I don’t know what's gotten into you, Sterling. But you seem to have forgotten who you are.” I take a step back, working at the buckle of my jeans. “Or rather, whose you are.”
Sterling lifts his gaze to mine, head cocked as he tries to understand my meaning. But it only takes a second forhim to regain his bearings, and his eyes go wide. Without hesitation, without any argument, he sinks to his knees.
I shove the fabric of my jeans down just enough to free my already hardening cock. From the moment he walked out on the patio, it’s been this way. Fuck, from the moment he walked into my life. I will never not be turned on by this male. No matter how much he defies me, no matter how much of an idiot he is.
“That’s better,” I say, smirking down at him. The moon is high above us, bathing him in its pale glow. His brown waves hang loosely around his face. “Pull your hair back,” I order, and he obeys. I stroke myself, stepping up to him. “You will not touch yourself,” I say, already leaking precum. “You will not touch me.” I line myself up with his lips, popping them open with the head of my cock. “And you willnotcome.”
I slide into his mouth, eyes nearly rolling back into my head at the feel of his tongue against my underside. It’s been too long since I’ve let him take me, months of denying myself from this pleasure. And now that I feel the warmth of him against me, I cannot for the life of me remember why. I rock my hips back and forth, letting him work his saliva around me. “Do you understand, Sterling?” His eyes are locked on mine, an eagerness to please drowning out the tone of defiance from earlier. He nods slightly, mouth too fullof me to talk.
I hum in approval. “Good, it seems you’re learning your lesson already.” I pick up speed, using Sterling’s face as my own personal vice, channeling all of my anger and frustration and distrust into the rhythm of my hips. And just when I think I’ve made my point, just when I’m tempted to pull back and not allow myself the luxury of finishing, Sterling moans.
Gods fucking damn it, the vibration of his throat feels like bloodlust. It makes me feral, turning me into a monster from the seven hells. He may not be allowed to use his hands, but he sure as fuck knows how to use his mouth. I teeter forward, one hand falling against the glass door to catch myself, and the other going to the back of his head—pushing him to take me deeper.
“Fuck, Sterling,” I say through ragged breaths. I’m no longer just fucking his face, I’m being fuckingvoredinto oblivion. “Is this what she does to you?” I hate myself for asking it the moment it leaves my lips, for mentioning her in this sacred space between the two of us. “Does that High Quarter whore make you this fucking famished?”
He hums, and it nearly sends me over the edge. I dig my fingers into his hair, ripping his waves out of the bun he just secured. I don’t let him stop. I push him further and further, make him take me deeper and deeper until I can feel myself hit the back of his throat. Until I feel him all around me. Until there is nothing else in the world but he and I, me and him.
Because that’s what it needs to be. Fuck everyone else. Fuck the Blood Order and Aamon and Quinn and every other fucking person in this godsforsaken city, in this godsforsaken realm. But most importantly, fuck the girl. This right here is all I will ever need. And I will fuck him every night, just like this, until he sees it. Until hebelievesit.
I come undone all at once, spilling cum down the back of Sterling’s throat. I grit my teeth, an animalistic noise working its way around them. I let my head fall against the glass, breath heavy as Sterling milks me dry. When he finally pulls back, I open my eyes to look down on him. He’s near shaking with need, and it kills me to not reciprocate. But he’s kept up his role; now it’s time for me to keep up mine.
I offer him a hand, bringing him to his feet. He stands between me and the glass, caged in. I wrap one hand around the side of his neck and jaw, holding his gaze on me. I don’t need to, he’s not trying to look away or retreat. But I do it all the same. I need to know he’s here with me still, need to know I’m not pushing him too far.
“Check in,” I say, searching his eyes for a response.
“I’m good.”
And while I trust him enough to believe he’d safe-word me if he needed to, he’s barely holding on. I can tell he’s not happy about my stance in all this, can tell there’s so much more he wants to say, but is holding back for now. Perhaps my punishment didn’t land as well as I had hoped.
I use my thumb to nudge the underside of his chin, tilting his head up towards me. I lean down, my lips finding his effortlessly. I fucking hate myself for letting it get this bad, for denying both of us this for so long. Gods, it’s been months since we’ve done this. Even longer since we’ve properly fucked one another. Judging by the way Sterling quivers beneath my touch, I’m sure he’s thinking the same.
But then I catch her scent on him. And I remember that not even an hour ago he was next door fucking thatthingagainst the shared wall of our rooms while I had to sit here and listen to it all—and my sympathy for his blue balls falls short.
I pull back from the kiss, hardening my gaze. “To bed. Now. You’ve had quite the busy night.”
Sterling opens his mouth to argue, perhaps beg that I touch him even? But I raise a brow at him, challenging him to fight back. He purses his lips, his body tensing. I run the back of my hand over his cheek just before he turns away and walks soundlessly back into the bedroom.
I smirk, impressed at his restraint. He has more than I did tonight. I return to my seat on the beat-up lawn equipment, pulling another cigarette from the carton on the table and lighting it. I take a long drag, leaning back to bathe myself in the light of the moon and listening to the soft, sweet sounds of Sterling’s obedience.
It should satisfy me, just as his submissive mouth did mere moments ago. But no matter how much he grovels onhis knees,no matter how obedient he is, I can’t shake the irritation burrowing inside me. The girl has gotten to him, and it scares me to think what that means for us moving forward.
Iawake just as the sun is starting to set. The Blood Order, like most of the ungoverned district, seems to operate on nocturnal schedules, which has taken some getting used to. Especially since I’ve done pretty much nothing else with my time here aside from sit in this room. And after last night, I’m craving more fresh air and a change of scenery.
