“Good. For every circle I make, take a breath in, then another out.”
I do as he says, breathing in and out to the rhythm of his movements. He slows his thumbs, forcing me to deepen my breaths. Before long, the shaking in my bones settles.
“That’s it,” he praises, letting his hands slip away from mine. His index finger hooks under my chin, forcing my gaze up to his. I watch him with a furrowed brow, trying to understand why he’s being so kind to me after all the shit I’ve done to fuck this up. He inclines his head beside me, nodding back toward the head of the bed. And before I can turn to see what he’s doing, Sterling is sliding behind my back, encouraging me to lean against him.
The warmth of his skin seeps into mine and I let out a shaky breath, trying to find somewhere for my eyes to land that isn’t Zeke. He’s staring at me so intently, I’m sure his rage is still simmering beneath the surface. He’s come back to punish me for being so insufferable. I’m sure of it. This is all some sort of ruse to get close to me, just so he can rip my heart out and devour it in front of me.
“Look at me, Angel.”
My eyes snap to his without question. He’s used that nickname for me before, but this time it's absent of the usual hate and disdain. But he has eyes made of ice, hardened by a world that’s been so unkind to him. And I had the audacity to think I could be the one to fix it. How fucking foolish.
“Stop that,” he orders. My eyes go wide at his command.
“I can see the way you’re pitying yourself. Feeling sorry for things that have nothing to do with you,” he clarifies. “I don’t want you feeding yourself those lies.”
“How is this not my fault?” I manage to ask, though my voice comes out far too quiet.
“Because there are things at power here that are out of your control. Things that have nothing to do with who you are, and everything to do with the power that is surrounding you.”
I start to shake my head, but he catches my jaw between his thumb and forefinger. “I said, stop. If you cannot behave, then you will be punished. Understood?”
I let loose a shaky breath, nodding slowly.
Zeke’s eyes flick behind me to find Sterling's. He nods towards him, and Sterling wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer.
“I think it’s time for me to clarify a few things,” Zeke continues. “Sterling here, annoying as he may be, has helped me make sense of a few things.” I still, mouth agape as I stare up at him. Sterling muffles a laugh into the curve of my shoulder and Zeke cuts him a narrowed glare before continuing. “I had shit I needed to work out. Shit I’m still trying to work out.”
He leans in, hands on my knees as he lowers his face to mine. “But you. Your being, both inside and out, never had anything to do with that. That’s why I’ve had such a hardtime making sense of this, because staying away from you was damn near impossible.”
I force my gaze away as more tears sting the back of my eyes. “Zeke, it’s okay." He told me himself how much hedidn'twant this. "You don’t have to lie to me. I know this isn’t what you wa—”
“Hey.” He snaps his fingers in front of my face, demanding my undivided attention once more. “Don’t question me again. I know what I want and I’m telling you now. It was my mistake to not be honest sooner. And you can bet your ass I will work tirelessly to earn your trust. But I’ve made up my mind.”
He pauses, wrapping a hand around my neck and bringing my lips to his. He kisses me. Just once. But my whole world turns upside down at the action. “This is real. This is what I want.”
I close my eyes, sighing deeply. He may have changed his mind, but that does little to suppress the emotion warring inside me. The feelings of brokenness, unworthiness. He may think he wants this, but only pain and destruction follow me. He’d be better off walking away and never coming back. They both would.
“I can’t let you do this,” I whimper. “You think you want me, but you don’t know what you’re signing up for.”
He presses his lips to my forehead, humming softly. “Angel, no oneletsme do anything. I’m the one in controlhere.” He leans in so close that I can feel the heat of his breath against the shell of my ear. “That is, if you’ll have me.”
And before I can answer, he’s pulling away. “And I’m not sure how you got it into your mind that you're some sort of curse or blight. That anyone could evernotwant you. But you better believe I will be correcting that thought process. Right now.”
Sterling's hands hook under my arms, lifting me and spinning me till I’m straddling him. He guides us backwards on the bed—him leaning against the headboard, and me on my hands and knees over him.
“Do you remember that word, Angel?” Sterling's silver irises glow up toward me, hopeful and understanding. “The one I told you to use if things get too intense.”
I nod.
“Call it out for Zeke here. Say it loud and proud.”
“Arcane.” But my voice is quiet, shameful.
He winks at me anyways, proud. I hear the soft clinking of Zeke’s belt buckle, the slide of the leather through belt loops as he pulls it off.
“Now I’m going to ask you to repeat after me. And depending on how well you obey, you’ll either be rewarded—” Zeke trails his fingers over the curve of my ass in the air, hiking up my skirt until the chilled air is biting into my skin. He yanks my underwear to the side, running his fingers over my slit. “Or punished,” he finishes, his fingers gone in an instant. The hard leather of his belt whipsthrough the air and I yelp when it comes in contact with the flesh of my ass, a searing sting radiating through my skin.
I fall against Sterling, and he holds me, stroking my hair reassuringly before guiding me back into position.
