“I’ve got you.” His mouth was at my temple. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
He worked me open like that, patient past anything I deserved, moving his fingers slow, learning the shape of me, his palm slicked and warm against the soft skin of my perineum. The cock he hadn’t yet put inside me was hard against the inside of my thigh, slick with his own pre-cum, the head of him brushing against the soft skin every time he moved. The piercing at my tip had been leaking the whole time. A thin clear line of it had run down the curve of my shaft and pooled at the base. Until my thighs were shaking on either side of him and my voice had gone ragged, and I was reaching for him without knowing what I was reaching for.
“Three.” My voice barely there. “Please. I want it.”
He gave me three. The stretch this time pulled a sound out of me that wasn’t a word. His thumb pressed against the soft skin behind my balls and held there while his three fingers worked me open from the inside, the slick wet sound of it loud in the room. He kept his other hand over my heart. Every time he found the spot I lifted off the mattress.
“Now. Please.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
He slicked himself slow, hands a little steadier now that I was the one shaking. The slick on his cock made him shine in the lamp light. The head of him glistened. He fisted the base of himself and pumped twice, smoothing the lube down his shaft, his eyes back on me.
“You ready?”
“Yes.”
He lined up. Forehead to mine. His other hand stayed flat on my heart. The blunt head of him pressed against me, the slick of him meeting the slick of me, the warm wet circle of it making my breath stop.
“Look at me.”
I gazed at him.
He pushed in slow.
The stretch of him going in was unlike his fingers. Wider. Hotter. A long, slow press that asked my body to make room and let him fill it. Two openings, simultaneously. My body had never done this. My heart had never done this. Letting someone see what my face did when all the armor came off. The careful architecture I’d built across years of careful nothing came down in pieces, and Ellis was the one watching it fall, and Ellis was the one inside me, and I couldn’t tell where the body ended and the heart started.
A tear slid down my cheek before I knew I was crying.
He noticed. His thumb caught the wet.
“Hey.” His voice wrecked. “Hey, hey. Talk to me.”
“I’m okay.” A laugh broke out of me, thin and real. “I’m so okay. Just. Give me a second.”
He gave me a second. A long one. His hands trembled against my thighs. His hips didn’t move. He let me hold him inside me, full to the ribs, his cock seated deep, the head of him pressed up against something that lit me up from the inside. I learned how to breathe inside this new shape.
When I could move, he moved with me. Slow. Deep. His breath broke, rebuilt, and broke against my cheek, his hand stayed on my heartbeat, and every push of his hips was a sentence I’d been refusing to read. The drag of him pulling back. The slow press of him going forward. The head of him catching that spot inside me every time he bottomed out. The wet sound of slick and stretch. The way his thighs pressed against the backs of mine. The brush of his balls against me on every push.
“I love you.”
On an inhale, broken around the words.
“I love you.”
Like he’d only just learned how.
His free hand left my chest and slid between us. Found my cock between our stomachs. He wrapped his hand around me, slick from the lube on his fingers and the pre-cum I’d been leaking the whole time, and worked mein time with the rock of his hips. His thumb dragged across the slick at my tip the way he’d learned worked, the steel warm against his palm. His eyes on my face the whole time. The wet of me made his fist slide easy. The pressure of him inside me on every push paired with the slow tight grip of his hand on me.
“Stay with me.” His voice cracked. “Stay right here.”
“I’m here.”
I came with his hand on me and his eyes on mine. I came hard, broken open, the kind of release that didn’t feel like coming, something giving way, the wall behind my ribs going down for good. My cock pulsed thick in his fist. The cum spilled hot across my own stomach and his, white on the brown of me. He kept his hand on me, working me through it, my body clenching down on him from the inside in waves.
He followed a breath later, his forehead pressed to mine, my name in his mouth. The pulse of him inside me. The hot wet flood. His hips stuttered. His mouth opened. The cum of him filled me in slow pulses that rolled all the way through my body. He shook above me. His whole long pale length trembled and stilled.
