Ignoring me, he walked the doctor to the door. But it wasn’t my bedroom door anymore. It was the sliding kind you saw in an ICU bay.
Fear crashed over me. I was in the ICU. I was…dying.
No, no, no! I couldn’t let this happen. I couldn’t leave Leo, and Luca needed me.
I had to fight. I had to fight with everything I had within me not to leave my loves.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR: LEO
Idon’t know how long I stayed in the chapel, just staring at the massive cross at the altar. I might’ve said a prayer or two. I might’ve lit a candle.
I still couldn’t bring myself to go back to Drea’s room. Seeing her like that was agony. The vibrant woman I loved reduced to a shell of her former self. A machine breathing for her.
Instead, I went back to the NICU to make sure they had followed my orders. When I arrived, a different nurse let me in. She bypassed the room with all the beeping machines and tiny bodies. Outside the door, Romano stood on watch.
I frowned at him. “I thought you were on duty earlier.”
“I was. I had to come back.”
“I see.”
When I turned to go, he said, “Mrs. Kavanaugh is inside with him.”
Caterina was here? She hadn’t texted that she was coming. I bypassed Romano to throw open the door.
In the corner of the small room, Caterina sat in a glider beside an incubator. Luca was against her chest with his head snuggled against her chin. A blanket was draped over them.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.
Caterina jumped at my harsh words and tone, causing Luca's tiny fists to flail as he cried out. “Hello to you too, Leo.”
“I asked you a question.”
“When did I get here? I think about an hour ago. Callum’s in the waiting room. He sends his love.”
“Caterina–”
“I know in times of trauma, a mother’s milk might not come in, and since I’m still breastfeeding Julianna, I brought a cooler of my overflow.”
When I continued glaring at her, Caterina said, “NICU babies especially need it.” She grinned down at Luca. “But I had no idea he would be such a big boy though. I can’t imagine how big he would’ve been if he got to cook another month.”
“I’m going to ask you one more time. What are you doing?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious I’m doing skin-to-skin.”
With a roll of my eyes, I replied, “Yes, I’m aware of that. I did read a baby book when I thoughtIwas having a baby. My question iswhy?”
“Because Drea can’t, and from what Rafe has told me, you won’t.”
“I can’t even look at him, least of all touch him.” Jerking a hand through my hair, I added, “If it weren’t for him, Drea wouldn’t be in a fucking coma clinging to life.”
“Leo, you cannot blame Luca for what happened.”
“He’s the root of all my problems.”
‘I know you’re hurting, but you can’t allow yourself to give in to the darkness. Drea needs you, and so does he.”
“I can’t believe you just barged in here with your breastmilk and your skin-to-skin. He’s not even your blood!”
