“You’ve done it since the day I met you.Mindy calls, and you drop everything.I’m not saying it’s wrong, and I love the devotion you have to her, but when are you going to think about the possible impacts on your life?”
“Is that what you think?That I’m not living my life?”Anger hit me hard and fast.I didn’t understand why I was so mad.
“Lucas.”Valerie held her hands out in front of her.
I stood up.“I had no idea you felt that way about my sister.”
“I’ve never met her.I can see only your reactions and your compulsive need to run to the rescue.You did that this morning.”
I swept my hand over my face, fighting not to yell.“You had parents growing up; we didn’t.”I held my hand up when Valerie started to respond.“Yours may have favored your sister, but they took care of feeding you, clothing you, making sure you had a roof over your head.From the time Mindy was nine, our parents checked out.I raised her, made sure she got to school, had food, and a roof over her head.”It hadn’t been easy, but I’d done it.I sacrificed to keep us together.
“I understand that.She was a child and needed your help and guidance, but she’s older now.Maybe loosen the reins a bit.”
“You just don’t get it.I can’t ignore her when she needs me.”I wouldn’t do that.Ever.If Valerie couldn’t see that, then maybe this relationship wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be.This wasn’t what I wanted: caught between two women I loved.
“I’m not saying to ignore her, but maybe talk things out with her.Include her in the conversation.”
“You think I don’t do that?She called me for help.”What was Valerie trying to tell me without coming right out and saying it?I ground my teeth in frustration.
Valerie closed her eyes and took a breath.“Just think about it.”
My anger was cooling, but I needed to get outside.“I’m going for a walk.”I spun and walked into the bedroom.After grabbing a shirt and slipping on my shoes, I went back out into the kitchen.Valerie was standing by the window.She didn’t turn around when I opened the patio door.
“I’ll be back.”I closed the door behind me and made my way down to the beach.I turned left rather than right.If I went right, I’d be tempted to go to my house, and I didn’t want to do that just yet.I started walking, trying to work out everything that had been said.
How?Mindy was my sister, my flesh and blood.I loved Mindy as much as I loved Valerie.I needed both of them in my life, but how would that work?That’s what I needed to figure out.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Valerie
Tears filled my eyes as Lucas walked out.I stared at his retreating back and a sliver of hope hit me when he turned left and not right toward his home.I understood his love for his sister.He’d raised her, and he felt responsible for her.
But the cold hard truth, and something I had to accept, if there was going to be any type of continuing relationship, Mindy was a part of his life and would come first at times.I couldn’t help the cold fear that invaded my body.Would I always be second place?
Closing my eyes, I took a shaky breath.Think about this, Valerie.Lucas hadn’t even risen to the bait with Kendall.But he would,a voice inside me warned.
Biting my lip, I turned away from the window.Why had I become this alarmed over Lucas leaving?Did it go back to five years ago when I thought we had something, and he just walked away without a word?
A pounding started in my skull.Nothing was going to get settled if we didn’t talk to each other.I opened my eyes and started cleaning up the breakfast dishes.Getting past this fear of Lucas leaving wasn’t going to be easy.Hell, even if I could get past it, which right now, I wasn’t sure I could.
He broke my heart once before, and if he walked away this time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to put back together.
* * *
The next week was tense between Lucas and me.We barely talked.When he first walked back into my place last Sunday, I thought he’d worked things out.Instead, he told me he needed time.I accepted that, but it didn’t stop me from worrying if I’d just screwed up a chance with the best man I’d ever had a relationship with.
With my love life in a shambles, I poured myself into Rustic’s books.More and more, I was convinced Rustic’s accountant was doing something shady.I thought back to the day I met her.She looked so familiar, but I couldn’t place where I knew her from, and I still couldn’t.Even an internet search came up empty.
I shook my head and glanced at the clock.It was almost ten on Monday, and I hadn’t heard from Lucas since he said have a good weekend last Friday.I’d been here since seven and no Lucas.I wasn’t surprised.Even last week, he’d come in late every day, and Friday night, he didn’t even show up at the pub.
This distance between us was getting to me.There had to be a way to close it, but I didn’t know what to do.Every time I tried to talk to him about us, he waved me off, saying now wasn’t the time.I was beginning to think our relationship wasn’t meant to be.
Looking back at the numbers in front of me, one thing I did know: Numbers didn’t lie, but people did.It was time to figure out who was cooking the books and how it affected FI’s acquiring Rustic.There was a brief knock on the office door before it opened.I turned to see Miles walk in.
I froze.Miles looked concerned.“What’s up, Miles?”Thank goodness my voice didn’t betray my fear.
“Do you have a minute?”
