Mindy leaned forward.“You fought over your unrelenting responsibility to me, didn’t you?”Her voice held reproach.
“Unrelenting?I wouldn’t call it that.”Was that how Mindy saw me?
“Lucas.”She shook her head.“I want you to stop feeling so responsible for caring for me.I can take care of myself.”
“I can’t stop.Besides, you still need tuition money.”And what about expenses when she was a resident?
“Actually, I don’t.Remember, I’m in my last semester.Your last payment finished everything off.I’m very grateful for your helping me get through med school without massive student loans, but I can stand on my two feet.”
“You’ve been barely scaping by over the last few years,” I insisted.My gut clenched at the thought of her struggling.
“It hasn’t felt that way, thanks to you.Some of my fellow students are living in shared houses with five or six other people.I’ve been lucky enough to have a studio apartment where I can study and sleep.”
“But…”
She held her hand up.“Lucas, I’m all grown up now, and I need to figure things out for myself.Even if I do call you, it’s because I want to talk something through with you and not have you over-reacting, rushing to my side.I appreciate all the things you’ve done for me, but you’re thirty-five.It’s way past time for you to start living your own life without panicking over me.I’ve tried telling you that for years.Yes, I asked you to help with the tuition—okay, and my rent—after mom and dad flaked, and I’m forever grateful for all you’ve done.I’ve got it from here.You need a life of your own.”
“Mom and Dad did flake a lot, but it was my responsibility, one I took on willingly.I wanted you to be happy and have a job you wanted.”
“You’ve always supported me and taken care of me, even when I was a kid.I’m your sister, and I love you very much, but it’s time to stop rushing to my side because you think something is wrong.”
I wasn’t sure I could do that.“Your voice… I assumed you were upset.”
“You reacted and didn’t pay attention to my words.I’ve noticed over the years that you don’t always listen.It’s time for you to listen to me.I’m an adult, and I can take care of myself.”She reached across the table and laid her hand over mine.“You’re the best brother a girl could ask for, but it’s time to let go.Once this residency starts, I won’t have time for anything but sleep and work anyhow.”
Lord, I really fucked stuff up, didn’t I?Her words penetrated my thick skull.“I don’t like the thought of you working that hard.”
“It’s part of the job.Like you didn’t work hard?”
“It wasn’t that bad.”I wasn’t about to let her blame herself for all the work I took on over the years to give us both a better life.
“I saw you, Lucas.I may have been young, but you worked two jobs while going to college just to make sure I was taken care of.You spent every spare cent you had on me, especially when Mom and Dad took off without a second thought and left us with nothing.”
“I had to make sure you were happy and secure.”
“And you did a great job.”She squeezed my hand.“But I’m an adult now.I didn’t want to call you about the tuition, but as careful as I am with my money, I didn’t have enough to cover it.I was glad when you transferred the money, but you added extra—again—which, of course, they refunded to me.”
“I didn’t want you to worry about anything.”Responsibility hit me hard in the gut.I’d always provided for Mindy when our parents didn’t; it wasn’t an easy habit to break.And it made my relationship with Valerie tense.
“I’ve been picking up some work, so I have money.”
“What?Since when?”How had I missed that?Had she even told me about it?
“For a few years now.It’s nothing big, just a hostess job at a local restaurant.It’s been mainly on call and when I can.It wasn’t much, but it helped.Of course, I’ll have to give it up for my residency, but I’ll be paid by the hospital, so it will work out in the end.”
“I had no idea you’d taken on a job.It wasn’t something I wanted you to do.”
“It’s a part of growing up and standing on my own two feet.I told you about the job, but again, you didn’t hear me.”
Mindy was right.I hadn’t been listening to her.“Big brother will listen better in the future.”
“Then hear this, I’m not your responsibility.Once I finish my residency, I’m going to start paying you back for my tuition.”
“The hell you are.”My voice rose.I closed my eyes, trying to calm down.“You will not pay me back.”
“You’ve provided for me since I was nine.Enough is enough, Lucas.”Mindy squeezed my hand again.“You have a life you need to get back to.I’m so happy you’re back with Valerie.You were happy with her before, and I can’t believe now would be any different.”
My lips twitched.My sister was observant.“Valerie does make me happy.”She did, and the longer I sat here with Mindy, the more I realized how badly I’d messed up with Valerie.
