And yet…
She might have been the only thing in this life I had ever truly loved. Strength disguised as softness, cleverness masked by beauty, and now I couldn’t imagine living a single day without her in it. These past weeks—as draining as they’d been—had given me more joy than the fifty-some years that came before.
I swallowed, “You are married to Dante,” I said firmly, my voice coming from somewhere far away. “There are no feelings between us, Emberline. None. I think of you as mybrother’s wife, to protect until he returns. That is all.”
Gods, what was wrong with me? Why did hurting her make me want to fucking die?
“Okay, yes… that’s… I was just…” She clamped her lips together, tears lining her eyes. “You’re right, of course. I don’t know what got into me. I apologize.”
Fuck.I dragged my hand down my face, wanting to tell Ember she had nothing to apologize for. That her wanting to kiss me had nothing on what I wanted to do to her. What I fantasized about doing, every fucking night.
“Try to get some sleep before we leave. I’ll make some arrangements, then check on Marcello. He’s getting sicker,” I admitted for no particular reason except this was Emberline, and apparently, I couldn’t stop saying stupid shit around her. “Of course, he refuses to see the healers, or Emilia, or listen to common sense, but he’s definitely dying.”
She went still, something like betrayal flitting across her face.
Oh right. She feels cheated by the bastard’s early demise because she was planning to carve out his heart for herself.
“Whatever this illness is, it’s taking him quick. I know you craved vengeance, but it appears nature got there first.”
I kept myself from reaching for her as I tried one last time to keep her safe, the only way I knew how.
“We’re walking into hell,bella. The guards drink the blood of the prisoners. Prisoners fight each other to the death. The Fossa isn’t a prison, it’s a gauntlet, and if we are caught, they will rip us apart for sport.”
I held her gaze, ignoring the sheen of tears. “This is your last chance to make the smart play.” I shrugged, as if her choice didn’t matter to me in the least, when my entire future hung on her answer. “Are you staying or going?”
“I’m going,” she said without a hintof hesitation.
“So be it.” I dipped my head, wondering if I could get away with tying her to one of these chairs.
I could, but once she was free, nothing would keep her from finding Tazroum and my brother.
14
EMBERLINE
Mist crawled across the ground and snaked around my ankles, leaving a chill of cold behind.I had been here before.
Right after I drowned in the darkness and woke up somewhere even blacker.
Twin veils fluttered before me, tattered and full of holes, the gaping space between them widening enough for me to step through. I wanted to. Every time I had this dream, the pull grew more demanding, more… tempting.
My feet slid forward, enough that a cold wind kissed my face, as though winter waited just on the other side.
But it wasn’t winter that greeted me.
Ottavia stood with her hands braced on her hips, wearing a look of supreme disappointment only a mother could conjure up, dark eyes—the exact shade of mine and Luca’s—flashing her ire, saying all the words her pursed lips did not.
For a moment, I was content to just look at her. Let emotions wind through me in a confusing, overwhelming stream of grief and curiosity and yearning for what could have been.
There were so many similarities.
And so many differences.
Her chin was more pointed than mine, her body lithe as a dancer’s, thin and delicate, not an ounce of fat. But thatvibrant, glowing energy surrounded her like a golden aura, making her appear almost alive.
“Mother.” I dipped my head. “It’s good to see you.”
Sometimes, in my dreams, she was silent; sometimes she uttered fragments of sentences that made no sense. Tonight… she offered a warning.
