She laughed, and God, I missed that sound. The warmth of it, the way it made my chest feel lighter. But I wasn’t done yet.
“Here,” I said, reaching into my bag and handing her the notebook.
She frowned, opening it. Her eyes scanned the pages, and then her breath hitched. “Oh my gosh, it’scolor-coded!”
I leaned against the table, watching her reaction. “I couldn’t afford for you to freak out.”
She lifted her head, eyes shining. “You are thebestboyfriend ever. The most attentive manever.” Her fingers traced the edge of the notebook. “E ti amo.”
My throat tightened, warmth spreading through my chest. “Ti amo.”
She studied me for a second before tilting her head. “Do you want to stay over at my house?”
I raised a brow. “Do you want your mother to murder me?”
She rolled her eyes. “She won’t.”
I wasn’t entirely convinced, but if she said so. “Alright then.”
Her smile was victorious, but then it faltered slightly. “When do you go back?”
“Unfortunately, tomorrow night. I have an exam on Friday.”
Her lips pressed together, disappointment flashing in her eyes. But instead of complaining, she reached for my hand, squeezing it gently. “Thank you for coming in the first place,” she whispered. “I know it’s not easy to be traveling back and forth with exams and medical school and… everything.”
I lifted our joined hands and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “For you?” I murmured. “I’d do it a hundred times over.”
Chapter Thirty-one
RONAN
Present Day
NEW YORK CITY
It was one of those days.
The kind where you feel like you’re walking through a fog that’s thick enough to swallow you whole. My mind kept drifting back to my parents. Their laughter and their presence had faded years ago, but sometimes, like today, it felt too real,too raw.
I sat in Dr. Saad’s office, staring blankly at the wall, trying to focus, but my thoughts kept circling. The guilt and the grief never really left, and I hated that. I hated feeling like this. Hated that I couldn’t shake it off, like I always tried to.
“Ronan,” she said softly, “What are you feeling?”
I took a deep breath. “Empty,” I muttered. “Like, no matter what I do, it’s never enough to make it better. I… I miss them. I wish they were here.”
Dr. Saad nodded. “Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and your guilt is part of that. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed—you’ll still feel them and all the emotions that come with it. That doesn’t mean you’re not making progress; it means you’re human.”
I wanted to tell her that it was like an anchor, holding me down. But I didn’t. I couldn’t find the words. Instead, I sat there, silent, until our session ended.
Afterwards, I found myself heading straight to Lucio’s. I didn’t want to be alone today.
He greeted me with a look that said he knew exactly what kind of mood I was in. “Stai bene, fratello?” he asked, his voice casual but with an edge of concern.
I shrugged, not trusting myself to say much. He didn’t press me, though. Instead, we talked about everything and nothing—our childhood, the company, random crap that had no bearing on the world. But it helped. Being there with him, feeling the weight lift bit by bit, made me feel less broken.
By the time I left, I felt… less empty. If only a little. Enough to breathe, at least.
Later, I was lying in bed, the sheets tangled around my legs, staring up at the ceiling. I could still hear the words of Dr. Saad echoing in my head, but it was different now. Less suffocating. I had to believe things would get better, even if it didn’t feel that way today.
