“Hey, Freddie,” Keiron says as he leans to peek around me.
“Hey.” Freddie hastily wipes his cheeks. “You good?”
“I was until you stole my man away. We’re about to snuggle up and watch a movie. Guess what it’s called?”
“Keiron,” I say sternly.
“Fangs of Felixstowe?” Freddie guesses, and my heart clenchesviolently. He knows me, he knows the movies I like,and yes, that movie has been newly released and I’m eager to see it.
“Nope,” Keiron replies. He lifts onto his tiptoes to speak into my ear. “I forgot to hit pause, we’re missing it.”
“Sorry.” Freddie tugs the strap of his rucksack. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Keiron laughs. “Well, you know what they say, three’s a crowd, unless there’s twins, then it’s anexperience.”
His hands roam my chest again, grabbing at my body. Freddie watches the paths they take with a slack mouth. He’s seen men practically slobber on Ryker in public, but he’s never seen anyone touch me, and he seems transfixed for a moment before coming back to himself with a jolt. He turns and walks away at brisk pace, but when he gets to the road, he takes off in a run.
“Freddie!”
I step out after him, but he keeps going, and I rush back into the house to slip on my shoes and grab my jacket. Keiron slams the door shut, then curls both hands into my zip-up. He clings on as I shake it to loosen his death grip.
“You promised me a movie night,” he says.
“I don’t give a fuck about movie night.”
Keiron’s nose ring sparkles when he flares his nostrils. “Forget about Freddie. He doesn’t want you the same way you want him.”
I freeze. “I think he needs me right now. He needs us, me and Ryker.”
“He shouldn’t get to have his needs met by you if he can’t meet your needs too. It’s toxic, and you’ve been doing so welldetoxingfrom him these past few weeks.”
The doorbell rings again, and Keiron abandons my jacket in favour of clinging to my bare arm instead. “Don’t.”
I yank open the door, but it’s only the pizza delivery guy on the other side. He stares at us before hesitantly lifting the box. “For Liam Bridges?”
Keiron takes it without a thank you, then closes the door.
“Come on,” he says, and after a few seconds, I follow him.
We drop down onto the sofa, and Keiron flips the lid open on the box of pepperoni pizza and takes the first slice. As subtly as I can, I pick up my book from Freddie and hide it beneath the cushion next to me.
I’ve blocked his number, I’ve signed out of the group chat, and I’ve deleted his pictures from my phone. But I can unblock, sign in, and access the cloud anytime. Freddie’s not gone, he’ll never be gone, and maybe that’s why I accept the poison on the couch. Maybe that’s why I followed it back in here, because it’s easier to manage.
“Eat,” Keiron orders.
I grab a slice.
7
Freddie
There’s a strain in Keegan’s eyes that wasn’t there before.
She’s seen a part of me I wanted to keep hidden, and her perspective has shifted. I apologize again for my behaviour. Ikeepapologising. I make her breakfast in bed on the weekend, get her favourite sweet treats on the drive home from work each night, watch her favourite comfort films under a new purple blanket with her. I even bought her the hideously expensive vase she wanted, but still, the change is evident.
She smiles, says it’s okay and she should never have contacted my father without my blessing, but his reappearance, as brief as it may have been, has affected her love for me.
I hate it.
