It was the anger, the control and the dominance that aroused me.
Maybe I should start analysing that reaction, but it’s what happened after that keeps replaying in my head. Nathaniel appeared under the pretence of returning my bag, but we all knew why he was there. With pouted lips and unblinking eyes, he’d stared at Ryker, and I’m left wondering . . . if Liam hadn’t been there, if Liam hadn’t told him “Don’t,” would he have gone back into The Fox and Hound, rinsed me off his hand, then fucked Nathanial in the toilets?
My gut cramps, and I roll onto my side, triggering the lights. My vision turns fuzzy as I press my face into the rucksack. Another memory hits me. Ryker slumped against the wall withhis head bowed low, looking small despite being over six foot. I ripped his confidence from him, I hurt him, and I don’t know whether it felt good or not, but I’d rather never see him again than see him looking like that and knowing I’m the cause.
It’s a mess, but it’s not one I know how to fix. It’s not one I’m certain Iwantfixed.
Liam said we need to talk, but where were they when I needed them?
They left me.
The ache in my hip grows until I’m forced to roll onto my back.
I sigh as I do, and the lights click on, then a few minutes later they fade. A few minutes more and they’re off again. My neck itches where Liam nuzzled me, and on the other side the patches from Ryker throb. I feel them with me even though I’m alone.
My lower back twinges, and with a grimace I’m on my hip again, making sure to alternate which direction I face.
This goes on all night as I toss and turn thinking of Ryker and Liam, until I start to see faces in the soup stain, and they looked as confused as I feel.
Whenmorningcomes,Ifreshen up as best I can in the toilets, rearrange the chairs, and wait for Stephen to show. I’ve changed my T-shirt, but I’m wearing the same navy jeans as the day before, praying Stephen doesn’t notice.
From his frown, I think he might. The creases on his forehead only deepen as he gets closer to me, and at first, I act like I’m unaware I’m being stared at, noticing him at the last minute with a surprised, “Hey,” the “I didn’t see you there”in subtext.
Stephen looks me up and down. “What are you doing here?”
I flounder for a second. “I know it’s early but—”
“You went home yesterday, headache you said. I wasn’t expecting you to be in today.”
Oh.Oh. “I feel much better now,” I say, then reach up to scratch my neck.
Stephen’s eyebrows climb as he takes in my neck. He hums, and I thinkshit.
Shit, shit, shit.
“I really was unwell.” I slap my hand on the other side to hide the marks from Ryker, but it’s too late, Stephen has seen them.
“Sure, and was the woman who did that also unwell?”
“I’m—”
Stephen laughs and drops his hand to my shoulder. I stiffen, waiting him out. I don’t dare join in with the joke I don’t understand in case he turns it on me and suddenly goes serious.
He wipes his eyes. “Don’t make a habit of it.”
Wait . . . what?
I debate the idea I’ve stepped into an alternative universe where I’ve got a cool boss who encourages me to ditch work to have sex. He should fire me for what he assumes I’ve done, but he walks by instead and tells me to “Carry on.”
I could, but instead I turn to him. “Can . . . can we talk in your office?”
Stephen stops and speaks over his shoulder. “What about?”
“I’d prefer to speak in your office . . .”
Car doors slam outside, and I know in a minute the corridor will be full of chatter, and curious eavesdroppers. I don’t want to have this conversation in the open.
Stephen checks his watch. “Sure.”
