I cross my arms now, a little offended. “I told you that in confidence!”
He looks around the empty kitchen. “Are there other people in here you see that I don’t?”
I smack his arm. “Hush!” I tell him, shaking my head. “Excuse me for just trying to let my pharmacist know my medical history. I didn’t know he would start holding it against me.”
He snorts out a laugh. Like,actuallysnorts.
“I think I need to find a new drug dealer,” I say, still pretending to pout.
He tilts his head at me, smirking. “You just found this one not long ago. That’s a pretty quick turnover. But, I’ll tell you what…”
He opens the kitchen drawer right beside my leg and pulls out another bag of pills.
I look at them and then back up at him again. “Do you just have drugs everywhere in this house?”
He halts what he’s doing and looks up at me. “Not…everywhere.”
“Mhmm.”
“Do you want what I’m going to give you or not?”
I raise my hands slightly in the air. “Sorry, sorry.”
He pulls out two pills, and I look over to see what they are. “Are those just Xan?”
“Yeah, and it’s all you’re getting. It’s all you’re ready for right now.”
“But…what is that going to do for me? Xanax just makes me want to sleep when I take it.”
He places the two pills on the counter beside me and takes out his lighter, using it to crush the pills. Then he takes a card that’s sitting on the counter, using it to make two small rows of powder.
“It’s different like this. I can show you if you wanna try it now while you’re with me.”
My brows furrow in confusion. “I have my last midterm test tomorrow. The point was tonotdo anything that would prevent me from getting through them.”
“Snorting it will give you an instant high with different effects than swallowing the pill. It also wears off faster, so you’d be fine tomorrow for your test, especially taking that Addy beforehand. Cancels it out, you know. You’ll be good. And if you like it, you can do that instead of the Molly that gives you a harder comedown.”
I weigh the choice in my head, desperate for something to take the edge off right now, and intrigued by the possibility of still being able to function afterwards.
I hop off the counter and stand beside Atlas, looking up at him. “Fine. Show me what to do.”
He smirks at me and then takes a twenty-dollar bill, rolling it up and leaning down to do the line. He stands back up, inhaling deeply and sniffing back the remainder in his nose.
He takes the card and cuts my line in half, relining it up. “You can start small.”
“You think I’m a lightweight?”
“Definitely.”
Whatever, challenge accepted.
I take the bill from him with more confidence than I should have right now when I’m about to snort a drug for the first time.
It’s safe, though, right? I’ve done Xanax before. It’s not like it’s completely new to my body or anything.
Before I can overthink it, I lean down and snort it quickly. I expected the burn, so that doesn’t shock me too much. I stand back up, coughing and sniffling, trying to get the bitter sensation and taste to go away. I wipe the tears from my watery eyes and wait for the panic to come, but it doesn’t. Nothing bad happens.
I look over to Atlas and smile.
