The guy who came in with the girls looks over at the guy lying on the floor. “Is he…dead?”
Mason bends down and checks his pulse. “Nah, just knocked out.” He stares at him for a moment. “Probably needs some kind of medical attention if you want my professional opinion. Definitely gonna need some stitches.”
He stares, looking disgusted by what he sees, and then stands back up.
“Someone get him the hell out of here,” the guy shouts, and now that I look at him…he looks like he could be related to the pink-haired girl, probably her brother or cousin, maybe? I don’t know.
Mason grabs a guy from the hallway to help him, and they carry his unconscious body out of the room.
The pink-haired girl looks over to her friend. “Lydia, what happened?”
Lydia.
The guy turns to me and gives me this questioning look, waiting for me to explain all of this. I feel the anger rising again just thinking about what I saw, what almost happened to her, whatwould havehappened if I hadn’t walked in. I look over at her, silently asking if she wants me to tell them. This happened toher. It’sherdecision if she wants them to know or not. She nods, telling me that it’s okay, and I give her an apologetic look, telling her I’m sorry.
As soon as I tell them what happened, I can hear both girls gasp quietly, like it hurt them to hear it be confirmed. The girl holding her leans down, whispering something to her I can’t hear, and she shakes her head no, but the expression on her face looks like she’s in even more pain now, and I hate it. Once she looks back at me, I hold her gaze, needing to talk to her, needing to make sure she’s okay…even though I’m not sure how she could be right now.
“Your name is Lydia?” I ask her.
She nods.
“Are you okay, Lydia?”
For a moment, she just stares at me, not saying anything. It feels like the whole room disappears, and it’s just us here. Whatever I’ve been feeling around her…it looks like she suddenly feels it, too.
She eventually snaps out of the trance, slowly shaking her head no…and that one simple movement completely crushes me.
45
Lydia
I can’t get out of bed, I can’t eat, I can’t turn the thoughts off, and I can’t make myself give a shit that I’m missing all my classes.
The only time Ididmanage to get my ass out of bed was three days after—afterthat party—when I called Atlas, desperate for something to help stop the spiral I was in. I didn’t want Molly, I didn’t want weed, and I didn’t want Xanax. I neededmore. I needed something stronger to shut my fucking brain off. I needed something that lasted longer, that took me further, that didn’t let me come back. I wanted to feel like nothing exists…not even myself.
I cracked the door open just enough to see Atlas and let out a relieved breath.
“Hey,” Atlas said, eyes dropping to scan me, like he was trying to assess the damage he was looking at.
I stepped aside and he walked in, hands in the pockets of his jacket. He didn’t sit, just slowly started pacing back and forth in the small room.
“Atlas. Please. Sit the fuck down. You just got here, and you’re already stressing me out.”
He let out a sigh before he walked over to Lani’s bed, which is across from mine, and sat down. “I…heard what happened.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah? Well, that’s great. Does everyone fucking know?”
“I mean, I don’t think people have put a name or face to the story…but, yeah, it’s being talked about.”
My legs hung off the bed as I fell back, laying there, staring at the ceiling. “My trauma loves being on display. What’s new? It is what it is, I guess.”
“How are you feeling?”
Atlas might be some college drug dealer who acts all hard and tough around everyone else…but I think he actually kinda cares about me. Maybe not in a romantic way, but in more of like some fucked up family kind of way?
“I’m feeling like I don’t want to feel anything right now…”
“It’s not healthy to keep running, Lyd.”
