I’ve heard people say that way too many times during some of my worst years.
Please let this one actually be mine, be different.
“So, what trouble do y’all have planned for this year so far?” I ask them as we all flop back down on our beds.
“You know,” Simone starts. “The usual, classes, Greek stuff, obviously football season is already in full effect…and—”
“Oh, I knowyou’reready for football season,” Lani teases with a wink.
Simone tries to hide the way her cheeks blush by ignoring Lani. “And…I’m not sure what else yet; I think it’s gonna be a pretty chill year, honestly.”
“No big back-to-school parties planned yet?”
Simone looks over to Lani and gives her a look that makes me feel like I don’t know something they do.Do they not want to talk about parties around me?
“It doesn’t bother me for y’all to go to parties still, you know that, right?”
“Well, actually,” Lani says. “We decided we’re doing a…dry semester.”
I blink, confused. “We?”
“Simone and I,” she says, as if my comprehension problem was adorable. “This semester. No drinking. In your honor.”
“Don’t say ‘in your honor’ like it’s a funeral,” Simone says, swatting at her. “We just…want to walk with you in this. It’s already hard enough trying to navigate how different this year will look. We can make it a little less obnoxious by not waving tequila under your nose every weekend. We can find ways to have fun without alcohol.”
“You don’t have to dothat,” I tell them. “I’m the mess. You guys can still…live. This is college, you should be having all the fun while you can.”
“We can live without an IPA,” Lani says dryly. “I know that’s radical.”
Simone’s face softens. She hops off her bed and comes to sit next to me. “Also…it’s not all about you,” she says gently, and I flinch before I see the smile on her face. “I could use a reset, too. Plus, Lani is enough on her own. She doesn’t even need the liquid courage to be crazy, and her liver could use the break.”
Lani laughs, knowing it’s true. “We like being with you more than we like a shot. Don’t make it weird.”
I swallow, because my throat is doing that thing I hate when it wants to get all emotional.
“Okay,” I say, quietly nodding.
“Are y’all coming to the house with me before the football game?” Simone asks. “We’re all still going together, right?”
Lani and I both nod and smile.
“Of course,” I tell her. “Got a cute A&M shirt in there anywhere I can wear?”
“Yes…but they’re all um…cropped.”
I give her a look, tilting my head. “I asked Simone Edwards for a T-shirt…of course I know it’s gonna be cropped.”
She rolls her eyes at me and laughs, going over to her clothes and pulling one out for me. “Here, put these jean shorts on, too. They’ll go perfectly with that.”
“Thank you,” I tell her.
* * *
At the Gamma house, the smell of beer was strong, like it always was on game nights, or party nights, or just…any night really, yet my body didn’t get scared like I thought it would. That surprised me. Scent was sometimes one of my big landmines. I expected to get hit by it like I was doing it myself again. But it was…fine.
I stuck close by Lani and Simone, and a guy I kinda knew from a class last year offered me a drink. I told him I was good, and he made a face like he was surprised, but didn’t say anything else and walked away like a regular person. The world didn’t explode and punish me for setting a boundary. I made a mental note of that—I might actually be able to do this.
“White Claw?” someone offered Simone, and she held up her seltzer with a smile and said, “Dry semester, baby,” like a little gladiator. I love her so much it hurts sometimes.
