“I’m serious, though,” I tell her. “You do deserve happiness, Simone. And Mason…he’d probably scream how much he loved you from the rooftops if you let him. He already protects you like his life depended on it.”
She rolls her eyes, half smiling. “Yeah, well, that’s a nice fantasy and all, but sadly it’s just not the reality.”
I nudge her knee under the table. “Just…be patient with him maybe? Give him a chance to fix whatever is happening right now with y’all. I know he’s got a big heart. But I also see the pain inside him. I know all too well what that looks like, especially when someone is trying to hide it.”
Simone’s expression softens. “I know,” she whispers.
The conversation fades as laughter pulls us back in, and other conversations with the people we love come easily for the rest of the night.
Outside, Bash slips his hand into mine and pulls me a little closer, his tie loose now, gown long gone.
“You okay?” he asks, voice almost a whisper.
“Better than okay.” I smile up at him. “You?”
He brushes a strand of hair from my face. “I’m always good when you’re around.”
“Ready for the next chapter of your life?”
He nods. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to the future for once.”
“Me too,” I whisper.
“I’ve got a lot planned,” he says, winking.
And for once…I’m not scared of the future. I can actually see one for the first time. I couldn’t say that a year ago. I’ve never felt happier, and it’s not that I’m perfect, or that Bash is perfect, or that life never gets hard. It’s that for the first time ever, I’m looking for the good instead of the bad; I want to keep growing because I’ve seen how far I’ve come, and I’m enjoying the journey.
Iwantto be here.
I never used to think I had anything left in life to be happy for, to be grateful for, tolivefor. But having Bash, being in love with someone who makes me genuinely love myself back, has opened my eyes to all of the things that have been right in front of my face this entire time.
I have so much to live for now, and I’m so grateful that I got the second chanceandthe second love, both of which have made me realize how beautiful life is, even after darkness tried to swallow me whole.
The devil truly has no claim on me anymore.
80
Epilogue
SEVEN YEARS LATER
LYDIA
I can’t stop twirling my wedding ring, one of the many fidgets I do when I’m nervous, and right now…I’m pretty freaking nervous.
I know what I’m feeling is right. I’ve prayed about it way too many times and double and triple-checked with God to make sure I wasn’t hearing things. It’s crazy. I know it’s crazy. Bash isdefinitelygoing to think it’s crazy…but I know we’re supposed to do this.
I’m sitting at the dining room table, waiting for Bash to come home. The time feels like it’s ticking by entirely too slowly. He had a long morning of clients and then went straight over to the college he currently volunteers at, which is partnered with his nonprofit organization. He’s been nonstop all day, and I don’t know if that’s going to make telling him this less easy to digest or not, but I just can’t wait any longer.
I could barely get any work done today at the hospital because my mind was going down a rabbit hole of what our future is going to look like. Every family I met with, and every child I got to talk to, all made me realize more and more how much I now know this is the right decision.
My legs are tucked under me, and the light is softly flooding in through the windows of the house, warm on my arms. I lit all the fall candles to feel a little more grounded, and because Bash says it makes it feel more like fall, even though the North Carolina air is still a little warm right now.
The front door clicks. Keys drop into the dish by the door, and I hear the soft thud of his bag against the wall. His voice calms my mind instantly. “I brought you a smoothie, even though it’s the color of moss; I promise it’s still sweet like you like. I know you probably haven’t eaten as much as you should have today,” he says, smiling at me.
He steps fully into the room—tie loose, the day’s edges still clinging to his shoulders—and the whole room exhales. He hands me the drink, leans down, and kisses my hair. “Hey.”
I grab the drink and lean into him. “Hey.” My voice does that small thing it does when I’m about to jump off something high. He catches it. He always catches it.
