“Hey, birthday girl!” I say, hugging her tight.
“Hey! You’re here!” she squeals, pulling back to scan my outfit. “Damn, Lyd. You look good.”
“Thanks,” I tell her, smiling.
Tyler gives Eli a casual bro-nod. “What’s up, man?”
They start talking about football or something else I don’t care about, so Simone and I drift toward the drinks. Harper and Katie show up not long after, squealing and hugging Simone with their usual flair.
When we finally step away from the noise, I hand Simone a small gift box. “Sarah helped me get it. She insisted on me getting something that wasn’t homemade this year for you.”
Simone laughs. “I’ve always loved your homemade gifts.”
She opens it up, and her mouth drops open. “Oh my gosh!”
She holds up the necklace. It’s a pink heart pendant with an S initial carved into it that has a key attached to it.
“It’s a key to a journal,” I tell her, handing her a rectangular package to open as well.
“How freaking cute! I love this!”
We hug, and she unclasps it, placing it near her neck, and turning around so I can put it on her.
“I’m never taking it off,” she tells me, and it makes me smile.
“It looks perfect on you,” I tell her.
Katie and Harper both give her their gifts while we’re still alone, and then we head back out into the party.
We’re all sipping on our drinks and laughing when the boys walk over to us. Eli wraps a hand around my waist, and I lean into his touch.
“You know my best friend John?” he asks, leaning down to my ear.
I nod.
“He was bored at home tonight, so I told him to come by. That okay?”
“Of course.”
“I’m gonna head out front to smoke while I wait for him.”
“Okay,” I say.
He kisses me once before disappearing again. Time blurs a little. The drinks seem to hit me harder than I expected. I was pretty buzzed, pretty quickly. Warmth filled my chest, and my legs were lighter than usual, but I was enjoying it. I danced with the girls, screamed lyrics into the air, and for the first time in a while, I realized how good I had been feeling…how the darkness hadn’t crept in much lately, and I was grateful for that. Grateful for the distraction Eli has become from that darkness, grateful for how happy he makes me.
When Eli came back in with John, the two of them walked into the room like they owned it. Something about their energy always screamed confidence, something I’ve always been jealous of not having.
Eli found me and pulled me away from the girls and into him. “I’d rather have you dancing on me,” he murmurs into my ear.
I giggle, already tipsy, and let my body sway against his. His hands felt firm on my hips, his cologne wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and when his mouth found mine, I completely melted into him.
I spotKatie as I’m still dancing with Eli, who is now cuddled up with John on a couch. She kept looking over at us between making out with John. Her expression was kinda strange and unreadable, like she was waiting for someone to be watching her all over him. I smiled at her and gave her a ‘you go girl’ nod before she turned back to John, and I turned back to Eli. Katie and Harper were pretty open about being boy crazy, so I was used to them picking new guys almost every week to attach themselves to. I didn’t really understand the appeal, though. I loved having one guy’s attention. I don’t want Eli to be temporary. He makes me feel too good. But still, I never judge them.
After dancing for a while and drinking a little more, Eli whispers to me that it’s time to go. “You’re getting pretty drunk. Let’s get you home.”
I nod and let him guide me out of the house. I see Simone as we’re leaving and give her a hug before heading out and getting into the car with Eli.
The car ride was quiet at first. But as we cruised down the road, mostly silent other than the music playing quietly in the car, the alcohol quickly turned my happiness into sadness again. My mind was alone, with no distractions, and running wild with thoughts. This is why I don’t like to drink much. I can’t control the bad thoughts when I drink too much. They take over and suffocate my brain, making me fixate on them. Sometimes drinking helped me forget, and other times, it shoves all the memories forward, forcing them to scream at me until I can’t hear anything else.
