“I’m sorry,” I tell Simone. “I’ve just…been busy with this online summer class I’m taking so I can graduate on time, and trying to get any time in with Eli before he starts college in the fall. I don’t mean to be so distant on purpose, I promise. Can we hang out? Maybe tomorrow? We’re going on a date today, but I’ll be free all day tomorrow while Eli is doing summer workouts with the UNCC team.”
“Sure, that sounds nice.”
I hear the cautious happiness in her voice and hate that I’ve caused that. Simone is like my sister, the closest thing to real family that I have.
“I love you. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you, Lyd. I just miss you.”
“Me too.”
We get off the phone shortly after, and I force myself to get up for the day. I have to finish my online schoolwork before Eli comes over and takes me to the Queen Charlotte Fair today. I’m happy to be getting out with him. Eli has turned into a complete homebody lately. We’ve been to one party since school ended and he graduated, and even then, we left early because he didn’t want to be there. He’s also been really busy with summer workouts and training camps for football with his college team, so I haven’t had as much time with him, and I just want us to enjoy today together. We tend to fight less when we’re not cooped up alone. When we’re out, I always have this false sense of hope, like nothing bad can happen when we’re in public, with other people around.
I’m lying in bed, already dressed and ready to go, when I get a text from Eli that he’s here to pick me up. I rush downstairs and tell Sarah and Mark that I’ll probably be home later around dinner time, or that I’ll call them if I’m not, and then head out the door. When I get into Eli’s car, he leans over and kisses me. I don’t feel the same fireworks that I used to whenever he kissed me, but that’s normal? We’ve been together for a while now. It wasn’t always going to feel like that, right? I still love being around him. I still lovehim…I think.
“Why are you wearing a dress to the fair?” he asks, looking over at me.
I scrunch my face up a little. “‘Cause…it’s cute?”
“You don’t need to be ‘cute’. Should have just put something comfortable on to be able to walk around in.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Well, I wanted to look cute. Sue me. The fair is fun, you’re supposed to dress up and look nice.”
“Well, I like you better in regular clothes, so I don’t really understand the purpose. Unless you’re wanting to dress cute for everyone else there.”
“I’m dressing cute formyself, Eli.”
“Whatever you say, Lyd.”
I don’t feel like he’s purposely being rude, but it’s souring my mood all the same.
The rest of the car ride is pretty quiet; thankfully, music is playing to fill the awkward silence around us.
The fairground feels and smells the same as it always has, like the perfect escape from reality. A piece of light that my darkness enjoys being lit up by for a little while. The smell of fried desserts and popcorn tangles itself up easily with the smells of show animals and something that I can’t really pinpoint, but feels nostalgic. Who can be unhappy in a place like this? It was perfectly created to bring you all the joy the world has to offer, packed into six acres of land, filled to the brim with laughter, games, rides, and heart-attack-worthy food.
Eli squeezes the hand he’s holding and points toward the giant Ferris wheel. “First ride after we grab tickets?”
“Yeah! I’ll grab us tickets while you grab some drinks? It’s really hot out here.”
“Yeah, get us two unlimited wristbands. I don’t want to have to keep coming back for more tickets.”
I take the money he presses into my palm, and then cross the gravel toward the booth plastered with neon price sheets.
After I’ve waited in line for what felt like forever, I reach the front and walk up to a boy standing behind the Plexiglas window. He looks maybe college-age, with freckles sprayed across his nose.
He smiles when he looked up at me. “Hey there,” he says, greeting me. “What can I get for you?”
“Two unlimited wristbands, please.”
He nods, presses something on his screen, and looks back up at me. “What’s your name?”
“Lydia,” I answer as Islide the bills under the slot.
He prints a receipt, and his gaze lingers on my face as he hands it to me. “That’s pretty. How’s your day going, Lydia?”
The polite part of me answers automatically. “Good. I’m having fun so far.”
“I’d be having fun too if you stuck around this booth and kept me company.” He winks—an exaggerated movie wink—and my stomach tightens with second-hand embarrassment.
