I shake my head. Not wanting to register the words he just said. My throat feels like it’s closing, like I can’t get any words out. “Eli—that’s not fucking fair. You can’t say that—”
“I’m fucking serious, Lyd. I will. I’m not doing this without you. I don’t want anyone else. And I’d fucking die before I watched you be with someone else.”
He stands, pacing the room. I quickly tuck into myself, backing up against the bed and bumping into the frame.
My phone falls from the sheets, landing face up on the floor.
Fuck.
Eli looks down, and we both just stare at it. I turn to look at him, and he slowly turns his gaze from the phone to me, holding my stare. His eyes are cold and furious. I don’t know who this boy standing in front of me is. Maybe I never did.
We both lunge for the phone at the same time. He shoves me out of the way, my head smashing into the corner of the bed frame. I quickly clutch my head, putting pressure on the pain, then pull my hand down to see bright red on my palm.
“Fuck, Eli! Why—”
The phone is in his hand, and he’s back in my face with no remorse. I can feel his breath on me, and it makes my skin crawl.
“You were fucking recording me?”
His voice is too calm, too steady. It gives me the most eerie feeling deep in my bones.
“I was just—”
Pain erupts from my face,the blow from his fist pushing me over the edge.
You have to get the fuck out of here.
He’s going to kill you if you don’t get out of here, Lydia.
He hurls the phone against the wall, the plastic and glass shattering. “You stupid bitch! You reallylovepissing me off, huh?”
The sound of my phone breaking against the wall jolts me into motion. I grab my jeans and phone from the floor, stumbling toward the door.
Eli grabs me by my collar, choking me, but I manage to break free, running out of my room and slamming the door behind me to buy more time. I’m running down the stairs when I hear him call out my name. There’s this calm venom in his tone that scares the hell out of me.
My car keys are in my jeans, and my car is a push start. All I need to do is get there.
I get out the front door, not bothering to close it, too busy running. I still don’t have any pants on, but I couldn’t care less right now. I make it to my car, and it automatically unlocks when I reach for the handle. I don’t hesitate or think twice when I get in, start the car, and put it in reverse.
As soon as I make it to the end of the driveway, I see Eli running towards my car. I quickly wipe the tears blurring my vision so I can see. I don’t think; I just drive. Having no idea where I’m going, just knowing I have to get away from here.Now.
I reach over in the passenger seat, feeling for my phone, praying it still works. When I grab it, I push the side button to turn it on—nothing.
DAMMIT!
I can’t see past the pain, past the fucked up situations I always seem to end up in, the cruel joke that is my life. I throw the phone to the back of my car in the heat of my anger.
How did I end up here? What did I possibly do to deserve what’s been thrown at me?
Through the fog of pain, Eli’s words still hit me hard…his anger, his threats, his sadness. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know why I feel so torn about it all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
23
Lydia
A LITTLE OVER A YEAR LATER
Age-Seventeen
