“No.” She tries to walk past me for the door anyway.
I throw a hand out and the door flashes blue-gold and locks. When she turns back her tail is up, her hiss comes at me full-throat, and furious.
“Open. The. Door.”
“Baby, let me?—“
I step closer and reach for her, try to cup her face. Her tail cracks across my cheek on the left, then on the right, both sides of my face, clean, stinging.
“Ah—damn—okay—Mara,okay,what the hell did I do?—“
“You don’t want to have a cub with me.”
The room stops. “What?” My voice is very quiet.
“You don’t want to have a cub with me.” Her voice breaks halfway through and she’s crying again, the tears spilling down now, her lip trembling.
The bill I’ve been waiting on has just come due. It’s so much bigger I can’t even see the edges of it.
“No—no, baby, no—“ I reach for her again and she’s backing away, her shoulder hitting the door behind her, her tail still lashing. “Baby, no, that is not, that’s not what happened?—“
“Take the spell off the door, Aaron. I want to get out of here.” Her voice is flat.
“I want cubs with you, Mara.” I yell.
“Aaron, please—“ She turns her face away.
“I do.” I step closer. “Baby, Ido.”
She’s shaking her head, her hand pressed flat against her own chest. “I just need some air?—“
I catch her around the waist and pull her into me. She fights me, then just collapses.
“I’m sorry,” I say into her hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.” Her tail has stopped lashing. “Shh. Shh. Mara. Baby. Calm down.Calm down.”
I ease her back just enough to find her neck, and I drop my mouth to her claim mark and press a kiss against the scar there. She folds against me, her whole body giving up at once.
I scoop her into my arms and carry her to our bed. I lay her down on the blanket gentle as I can manage, press another kiss to her forehead, and cross the suite to pull a clean glass pitcher out of the cabinet. I fill it at the tap with cold water and carry it back.
She’s sitting up when I come back in. I hand her the pitcher, and she drinks the whole thing in one pull and holds it back to me. I take the pitcher and set it on the end table, and sit down on the edge of the bed.
“Lie down,” I tell her.
She does. I lower myself gently beside her and settle my head against her belly, my arm draped across her hip.
“I’m sorry I came at you like that,” I murmur.
She doesn’t answer, she just breathes. I turn my head and press a kiss to the small soft pouch of her belly through the fabric of her dress. “I love you so much.”
Still no answer. But her hand comes down and finds the back of my head, her thumb stroking behind my ear once, and she doesn’t pull away. I close my eyes.
“I want it all with you.” My voice is thick. “I want it all, baby. You hear me? I can’t smell when your body shifts. So when it happens, when you finally catch that change on yourself, I want to see it on yourface.I’ve thought about it more than I should have. The first morning you wake up and you know. I want to see that.”
Her hand tightens at the back of my head, and when she speaks her voice is small, hoarse from crying. “Really?”
I lift my head off her belly and find her eyes. “Yes, Mara.”
Her eyes are shiny but they’ve gone soft, and she’s listening to me now. I kiss her belly again, then shift up the bed a little and kiss the rise of her breast through the fabric of her dress, one and then the other.
