One moment I’m trapped in our suite with Aaron’s magic wrapped around me. His lips are pressing into mine in a kiss that tastes like desperation and goodbye. The next I’m standing in the library with my arms at my sides, my breath coming out even, like I’ve been here for hours.
The library is empty, all of the students gone down for the night. The long study tables stretch out in rows under the dim glow of the overhead lanterns. Chairs pushed in. Books stacked on the shelves. Everything looks the same as it always does but I can’t smell any of it.
My tail hangs behind me. I can see it dragging against the floor when I take a step forward but I can’t feel it. I frown and try to flick it but nothing happens. I try again, harder, focusing like I do when my lion is being stubborn, and the tail just hangs there.
I reach for my lion. She’s not there. I reach deeper but there’s nothing to grab onto, just a hollow where her warmth should be. I press my hand against the nearest table.
My hand goes through it. I snatch it back and stare at my fingers. They look normal. Solid. The lines on my palm are stillthere, the short curve of my nails. But when I reach out again the hand passes through the wood like the wood isn’t there. I can’t feel a thing.
I hiss at it, sharp and instinctive, then step back.
The thought comes fast and it nearly buckles my knees—am I dead? I’m still wearing the dress I had on when Aaron kissed me. My feet are on the floor but I can’t feel it. I press my palm against my belly and I can’t feel that either. If I was carrying our cub, if something was just beginning to grow inside me, would I even know? Would dying erase it before it had a chance?
I force myself to breathe. The double doors that lead to the Conjuring Hall pull at me, faint but steady, like a thread hooked behind my navel. The answer is on the other side of those doors. It has to be Tiana.
I break into a run. My feet make no sound on the floor and the wrongness of that almost stops me, but I keep going. I come to a stop at the large double doors and look around, listening.
Nala’s voice drifts down from upstairs, muffled like I’m hearing it through water, but I can make out enough. She’s fussing about a book one of the pup-cubs chewed on. Kael, probably. Torin’s low voice is somewhere behind hers.
I groan quietly. Nala came back from maternity leave and I didn’t even notice. I’ve been so consumed with Aaron and my new life that I missed my friend coming back. I wonder what else I’ve let go of since I started building a life with Aaron. How much of myself I’ve been losing without even knowing it.
I reach for the door. My fingers pass through the wood like it isn’t there, but my feet are still solid on the floor yet I can’t feel it. I don’t understand the rules of whatever this is. I pull my hand back.
Nala says something about teething. Torin laughs. I just push through. My whole body passes through the door like it’s air and I’m standing inside the Conjuring Hall, which should not bepossible because this room is protected with magic so heavy I’ve felt it press against my skin every time I’ve walked past.
My ears strain to swivel. They won’t move. They’re stuck flat against my head like they’ve forgotten how, and the absence of that reflex makes me feel more naked than anything else.
Light moves on the upper floor. Voices carry down, sharper now, and someone is pacing.
“That damn boy,” Angie mutters, her frustration barely leashed.
“We need to get to the Witching Glen.” Tiana’s voice has an edge to it. “I think Eric is messing with Aaron.”
I take the stairs fast. My feet don’t make a sound on the steps. I reach the top and step into the open space of the second floor.
Angie sees me first. Her mouth sets into a hard line and she plants her hands on her hips. “How did you get in here?”
Tiana, Kiara, and Samara shift immediately. The sisters pull together in a tight formation beside their mother, their shoulders touching, all three of them fixed on me. I can’t smell anything in this form. But their faces tell me everything I need to know—they aren’t happy to see me, and I need to explain myself before they decide I’m a threat.
“I don’t know,” I tell them, and my voice sounds strange to my own ears. Thinner than it should be. “I was with Aaron and he...”
Angie’s jaw is set and Kiara’s fingers are twitching at her sides. They’re waiting for a reason not to trust me, and words aren’t going to be enough.
I walk over to one of the tables near the wall and reach for a crystal orb sitting on a brass stand.
“Don’t touch that,” Angie snaps.
My hand passes through it. I pull my hand back and turn to face them.
Angie’s mouth falls open. Kiara grabs Samara’s arm.
“I’m surprised you can see me,” I tell her. “But grateful.”
Angie steps forward, leaving her daughters behind. She’s studying me.
I shrug. “I don’t know how I got here. Aaron came unhinged earlier, and...”
Tiana pushes past her mother. “Aaron did this to you?”
