His death had only reminded me of the fact that the world is harsh and unfair, and that I was willing to do terrible things toavenge what I could. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, too, because I’m not a good person like Franklin had been.
I wonder what he would’ve thought of our revenge.
I doubt he would’ve liked it.
I’d do it again in a heartbeat anyway.
More people go up to say a few words. Franklin’s childhood friends, a cousin, an uncle and an aunt.
So many people cared about him.
When I die, I expect to be dumped in a ditch without anybody’s day being disrupted. There will be no extensive memorial service for me. No one will even think anything of my disappearance.
Except Pandora.
I startle when Blaze heads to the front of the room. Franklin’s mother glares at him, but Franklin’s father motions him forward with a pat on his shoulder.
Blaze clears his throat and looks down at his notes. “We’ve all heard about Franklin’s kindness. But I want to talk about his perseverance. When I first met him, I thought for sure he wasn’t going to last long at Dyschord. Yet every time I saw him, he was trying hard. He was studying, he was putting himself out there. He wasn’t willing to let anything get him down, and when he failed, he just got up and tried again.”
I let out a small chuckle, remembering the way Franklin had tried to help us fight off those masked attackers. He’d even gone up against the biggest guy, using all the training I’d given him.
Thumbs inside the fists, keep your arms straight.
“Franklin had more courage in him than almost anyone I knew,” Blaze says. “That’s something we should all strive for.”
Even equipped only with a spatula, he’d tried to defend one of his brothers. What excuse do I have not to be brave?
I should get up right now and march to the front, say my own piece on why Franklin was the best friend I’d never had thechance to properly have, but I can’t bring myself to get to my feet.
So much for bravery.
Blaze is the last to speak, and his father steps up to close the ceremony.
All the while, my self-loathing threatens to overwhelm me.
Why couldn’t I get up and say one thing, one single thing, about him?
“You okay?” Asch asks from behind me when everyone gets up and begins to quietly move around the funeral home.
I give a jerky shake of my head, but I don’t dare speak.
“You want to leave?” he asks.
I shake my head again, turning to face him properly. “No,” I rasp. “I want…”
I want to say something to his family, something I couldn’t say in front of everyone, but I know the words won’t come then either. Still, the last thing I want to do is come for this part and immediately bail.
As soon as I leave, it really will be over.
I don’t know if I can get myself to say anything to Franklin’s parents, but I knew Sandra.
I remember the other frat brothers calling her fat behind her back, or right within Franklin’s earshot.
Franklin hadn’t even slept with her, I realize. They’d been taking things slow. He’d gotten ribbed for that.
I squeeze my eyes shut to stave off the tears, then I walk over to Sandra.
She nods when she sees me. “Hi, River,” she says softly.
