“No!” I say. “No, I didn’t.” She’s not going to believe me when I say I hated seeing her getting fucked by that bottle, that I’d gotten so jealous that I’d barely been able to see straight. That if any of them had tried to get their cocks in her, I’d have taken her knife and cut them up myself.
“Didn’t seem like it.” Pandora gets off the bed. “You’re good at following orders though. Did everything Blaze and Zayden told you to do, including luring me there.” She giggles briefly. “They knew I’d drop everything for you. I got played hard.”
The worst part is that she isn’t wrong.
But what else was I supposed to have done? I’d been so angry.
I’d let myself be played, too.
“You’re the one who wanted me to infiltrate them,” I remind her, and I stand up, too. “You’re the one who pushed me into all of this. You don’t get to hold it against me now.”
“I didn’t think you’d become theirsheep.” She wraps her arms around herself. “You aren’t so perfect, really. Won’t help me stab Blaze, won’t stop frat guys from holding me down and… and…”
My stomach twists. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, my voice strangely hoarse. “Pandora, I?—”
“Sorry?” Pandora starts laughing. “How sorry? Will you give me another finger? Will you let me mark you up?”
No.
I’m not losing another finger to her for her to carry around like a grisly trophy, a reminder of my stupid fuck-up.
“You already took a finger for something stupid,” I tell her. “This was just… payback, that’s all.”
She should be glad she got away so lightly.
She’s fine now.
Nobody stole one ofherbody parts.
Pandora’s barely even traumatized by what happened.
Hell, she went out and murdered somebody. That’s some catharsis for her. I had to suffer by myself, with my father’s rage raining down on me and knowing I’d never, ever be able to touch the Pavones unless I wanted to feel their wrath, too.
“Payback,” Pandora repeats. Her smile gets wider. “That means I’m justified in getting payback too. We’ll keep going until the entire world is blind.”
“You know what, Pandora? You can do that all you want. Just keep going around in circles, keep trying to get revenge. But you can do it by your fucking own,” I snap at her. “I’m not your bitch, and I’m not going to meekly roll over for you.”
“But you’ll roll over for Blaze,” Pandora says. “You can take Asch’s place, since they’re on the outs now.”
“I’m not rolling over for Blaze,” I retort.
But haven’t I done just that? I’ve been doing what he wants, and I’ve been letting him manipulate me. I’ve been quietly ignoring the secret room in the frat because I didn’t want to get on Blaze’s bad side.
Pandora gives me a condescending look. “You’ve never been a leader, River. Just blindly following along. You jumped before I even asked. It wasn’t even hard to get you to join the frat. So much for your backbone.”
“I have a fucking backbone!” I yell. “I just wanted to find Rachel’s killer. That was the best lead we had!”
“Then you should have let me stab Blaze!” Pandora shoots back. She gets down onto the floor and reaches under the bed.
I grab her wrist and pull her away before she can reach her knife again. “No. Leave that here.” I know she’ll get another one, but I’m not letting her get near me with a weapon in her hand. “And while you’re at it, get out.”
“What?” Pandora shakes her head. “No, I’m not done here. Blaze still hasn’t told me anything.”
“Yeah, well, too bad,” I tell her, yanking her in the direction of the door. “He’s not going to tell you anything, and you know that.” She missed her chance because I interfered, and I’m not going to forget that any more than she is. But I hadn’tknownwhat was going on. “Go. Get out of here. You’re right; none of us want you, and we especially don’t want youhere.”
I want to hurt her.
I want to break her.
