She cuts herself off, but I already know what she’s trying to say.
“Are they really responsible for Dad’s death?” I ask her, not even sure I want to know the answer. “Or is that another lie?”
“I don’t know the details, Asch,” she replies, her voice unusually sharp. “I don’t want to know the details. All I know is that I’m willing to use them just like they were willing to use him and make sure you get the education you deserve.”
It’s not like her. She’s the one who taught me to respect others, to neveruseothers, but I guess this is different to her. “Did you love him?” I find myself asking, not even sure where the question is coming from.
“What?” She sounds confused. Flustered.
“Dad. Did you love him?” I don’t know why it matters. It doesn’t, in the grand scheme of it all. But it’s easier to focus on this than the betrayal from the two people I care about more than anything. “You didn’t even hesitate to use them.”
“Yes,” she says. “But I’m also practical.”
She’d been more thanpracticalwhen she’d demanded payment from George Bouchard. She’s taken a huge risk. I could’ve ended up without either parent. Then what?
“I can’t… I can’t do this right now,” I tell her. “I need to get to class.” I don’t have class, but I need to get away from this conversation. I need to get away from her.
“Asch,” she pleads, “please understand that I only did what I thought was best for you.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” I demand.
Her silence speaks volumes.
She wasn’t going to tell me. Blaze wasn’t going to tell me.
I was going to go through my life thinking I’d actually earned what I’d worked so hard for, and the Bouchards would’ve been laughing at me every step of the way.
The only person willing to tell me had been Pandora.
“I have to go,” I say, and for the first time, I hang up without telling her I love her.
I need something to get my mind off of all of this… and I need to prove, even to myself, that I’m not weak.
Asch
Where are you?
I send the text to Pandora, waiting for her to answer as I pace the length of the classroom.
Pandora
Banging some frat guy. Why?
I grit my teeth.
Asch
Must be a great fuck if you’re answering your texts in the middle of it. Ditch him. I can do better.
I don’t think for a moment that there’s really another guy, but the idea of it makes anger and jealousy twist me up inside.
Pandora
I guess. But I’m so close already. It’d be a waste of a perfectly mediocre cock.
If you get here before I cum, I’ll consider it.
My room.
