Blaze is frowning. “I would much rather have you where I can see you, Pandora.”
“Otherwise, your house might get burned down,” I say.
None of them laugh.
Come on, that was at least a little bit funny!
“Besides,” Asch says, wrapping his arms around me from behind and kissing my neck. “We can’t distract you if you aren’t here.”
Do I need distraction?
Yes.
I need to not think about Samantha at gun point.
I need to not think about Bobbi almost killing me.
I definitely need to not think about Rachel getting sawed up.
“I’ll be in touch,” Bobbi says. Her voice is weird. “You can handle… whatever this is.”
This?
What isthis?
I’m…
I’m not fine.
I’m not okay.
But if I open my mouth right now, everybody else will know how not okay I am.
“I’ll walk you out,” River says, his eyes trained on Bobbi. His tone is cold, nothing like what I’m used to—all heat and passion and more.
Asch keeps his arms around me, squeezing tight. “Let’s get upstairs,” he says, his voice every bit as gentle as River’s was hard.
I nod, afraid of what might drip out of my mouth if I open it to speak.
This is really, really bad.
I’m not one hundred percent fully sane, sure, but my hallucinations aren’t supposed to be like this.
At least I know they’re hallucinations, right? That’s something.
It doesn’t help me feel like a fully formed person, and I still don’t have a beating heart, but it’s got to count for something.
Asch and Blaze whisper to each other, then they lead me upstairs, behind River and Bobbi.
“I’m—” I start, but I was right. Black bile oozes out of my mouth. I quickly shut it again.
Asch’s arm around me guides me toward Blaze’s bedroom, and he stays close to me as we walk. It isn’t until we’re inside that he turns to me, brushing hair from my face. “I’d ask if you’re okay, but that’s a dumb question, right?”
I smile.
Yeah, it’s a really dumb question.
Blaze sits down on the bed and pats the space behind him. “C’mere, Pandora. Let us make things better.”
