“No vitals,” River confirms. “No dirty tricks.”
He takes a step toward me, taking the offensive right away as he tests me with a jab aimed at my shoulder. I let him clip me, then counter with a punch of my own.
It’s different from sparring with Asch. River’s movements are slower, but each one is more deliberate and powerful. I’m so used to Asch that River catches me off guard, and I mentally chastise myself for that. I need to be able to deal with any threat, not just ones that fight like my best friend does.
“You think Asch is fucking Pandora right now?” I ask as I try to unbalance River with a kick.
“Might be,” River says, sidestepping the kick and getting into my guard so he can aim another punch at my stomach. “That ever bother you?”
I block his punch, but wince from the impact anyway. “Nope. It’s hot, Asch fucking Pandora.” I send a jab his way, but he backsteps. “Does it botheryou? Pandora with me. Pandora with Asch. Pandora with both of us, without you.”
My next kick catches him in the calf, but he doesn’t stumble.
He starts to circle me, and I can’t get a good look at his face as he replies with surprising honesty, “Sometimes.”
I don’t know what to make of that. I know that Pandora is too much for one person. If I didn’t have Asch and River to help, I’d have been swept up in all of her craziness by now.
Sometimes, I still want to.
It would be easier to kill everyone and dye the world in blood.
Easier, until we get caught.
Easier, until blackmail stops working or somebody decides to take us out.
Easier, until even our connections can’t get us out of it.
“You think you could handle her on your own?” I ask mildly.
River ends up in front of me again, and he shrugs. “I could try. It’s more…” He takes a deep breath, and he meets my eyes. “There’s this whole dynamic I’m not a part of. And I get it. You and Asch have history. But it’d be nice to not be on the outside.”
I stop moving too. My lungs burn with how heavily I’m breathing. “If you don’t want to be on the outside, then stop being a little bitch and actually hang out with us.”
River scowls at me. “I’m not being a little bitch.”
“No?” I shake my head. “Then why haven’t you had dinner with me and Asch at all since we all got back from winter break? I know you weren’t with Pandora every night.”
He’s quiet for a moment, but his hands clench into fists at his sides. “I didn’t want to intrude. Speaking of intruding, have you told Pandora that you two were about to fuck on the couch when I walked in?”
It’s my turn to be stabbed by guilt. “We haven’t had the time,” I point out. “Rescuing Pandora and reassuring her was more important.”
“Yeah, guess telling her that wouldn’t be very reassuring,” River mutters. He sighs, holding up a hand. “NowI’m being a little bitch.It’s not like I want to be in the middle of a Blaze-and-Asch sandwich, but I hate being on the outside, too.”
I step closer to him and push his hand down. We’re around the same height, which means we’re on eye level with each other. Heat radiates off of River, and I can smell his deodorant mixing with his sweat.
River stares apprehensively. “What are you doing?”
Nothing about River is attractive to me. Not that he isn’t hot; he is, I know that objectively. But I’m not drawn to him like I am to Pandora, or even the less intense attraction I have for Asch.
But I grip the back of River’s neck anyway and press my lips against his.
He startles, his body going rigid against mine, but then he’s kissing me back—not quite demanding, but not submitting either. It’s only for a second, then he pulls away with a quick glance around us.
No one else is around to have seen it.
“Wow,” I say. I have to resist the urge to wipe my mouth. “I’m really not missing out. I should tell Pandora you’re ass at kissing.”
“Shove it, Blaze,” River mutters. “Maybe if we weren’t in the middle of the gym, I’d put more effort into it. But the last thing we need are pics of us kissing circulating around campus, too.”
