“But beyond that, you and I only have futures if your dad doesn’t disown you and ignore the debt he owes to my mom,” he continues.
“His choices are to keep me close or to kill me,” I say matter-of-factly.
Asch looks at me with wide eyes. “What?”
I shrug. “It’s the truth. He can’t have me running off and helping anyone else. Right now, it’s mutually assured destruction, right? He ruins my life, I ruin his. If I defect to the Corroux, or god forbid, the Pavones… That’s a bigger threat.” I sit back and stare up at the sky. I can barely see any stars, between the moon and the light pollution. “I’d have to commit too, though. If I want to defect, I have to be willing to cut all ties with my family.”
“Is defection the best option?” he asks. “The Pavones do legit sex work now, right? It’s at least slightly more palatable than selling women.”
“I mean, that’s what they say.” I glance over to him. “My dad thought Pavone was mostly out of the picture, before all this stuff with Pandora. Maybe he knows more than he was telling me though. And we don’tonlydo the stuff with the women. It’s…” I sigh and sit up again. “It’s making sure you get money for your pet projects, or support from governments. It’s enabling your cocaine or ketamine addiction. It’s getting you big contracts that will ensure your success. Access to country clubs with all the right people.”
Asch nods. “I don’t know what you should do,” he admits. “I don’t know whatweshould do. But we need to get as many people on our side as possible. I don’t know what that means for us, either. But we have to stop pissing people off.” He offers a rueful smile. “Seeing as how Pandora has no intention of stopping until the world is burning, that’s going to be… hard.”
“Well, we’ll have to deal with all the Kappa Asshole bullshit when we get back.” I stop, then groan. “KappaAlpha. Jesus, she’s got me doing it too.”
“Is she wrong?” Asch asks dryly. “But it’s probably not something we should do in front of ourbrothers.” He shakes his head. “You know I’ve never felt like I fit in, but you do. You need to get control back from Ezio before he gets in everyone’s heads too much.”
That sounds like a doable goal.
“Yeah. Ezio’s one dickbag.” I grin. “And as you’ve been telling me, one dickbag is nothing if he doesn’t have support. They want me to be the frat leader, then I should be the frat leader, right?”
“Yep,” Asch replies. “That means edging Ezio out. I’m not willing to like… not be with Pandora anymore, and there’s no telling her what to do, but we have to figure out how to stop her from going at the frat so hard.” He’s quiet for a second, then adds, “Not that we don’t deserve it.”
I think back to last year, before I’d met the embodiment of chaos and passion in one sexy package.
“It wasn’t so bad,” I say quietly. “We did some fun stuff with Kappa Alpha. The time we painted the mural on that one lot. Did we have skill or talent? No. But it was fun. And the older guys gave us tips for our classes. Remember Brandon? He shared all of last year’s econ tests with you.”
“I know,” Asch says. “Sometimes it’s hard to focus on the good when a lot of them made it pretty clear I wasn’t welcome.” He closes his eyes. “Which I knew already, and now that feels even more true.”
“You didn’t try hard,” I point out. Asch glares at me, but I don’tback down. “It’s true! You found ways to avoid doing the frat activities. Even when people weren’t being dicks, you held back.”
“You don’t know how fucking hard it actually was!” Asch snaps at me, his eyes flying open. “You just sailed in and everyone respected you. Meanwhile, everyone calls meBlaze’s bitchand treats me like my only value is that I’m friends with you.”
“Then fucking use it!” I growl. “That’s the point of connections, Asch! Own the fact that we’re best friends, and that I could have gotten any one of them kicked out of the fucking university on a whim!”
He glares at me. “And that would’ve made everyone else think even less of me,” he retorts, but then his shoulders slump as he deflates. “I don’t want touseyou, man.”
This is one of the things I always liked about Asch. He’s got a lot more principles than most of the people around me, even when it’s inconvenient for him.
They aren’t really principles if they only apply when it’s easy.
“I never mindedyouusing me,” I say.
“Yeah. I know.” Asch sounds resigned rather than convinced, and it’s the tone in his voice more than anything that has me leaning in.
It’s not our first kiss, or even the second.
But here, in the semi-public venue of the New Valence riverfront, it feels even more significant.
It means more than a kiss with Pandora between us.
I open my mouth to deepen the kiss, only Asch has the same idea, and he fights me for dominance in a way even Pandora doesn’t.
Fuck, this is gay. Gayer even than having Asch’s cock rammed down my throat. I’m not supposed to be this kind of person, because my father would never accept me being with a man, and anywayAschisn’t into me, except apparently he is.
He grips my shoulders and leans in, forceful, like he’s trying to simulate face-fucking with his tongue alone.
You have my permission.
