I sat still as a statue as he stroked it in his hands. It grew a little bigger than before, which freaked me out. I couldn’t believe I was in another fucked up position with a grown man.
“The key is to make sure you don’t use your teeth. You suck it or lick it, but don’t bite it. Here, let me show you.” Mr. Nathan grabbed me by the arm, bringing me even closer to him. His hand pressed on the back of my neck as he guided my head down. I wanted to protest, but there was no point.
“Open your mouth as wide as you can and just suck,” he instructed.
The closer my face got to his private area, the more I wanted to gag. It smelled sour, like he had been sweating all day and hadn’t washed it. I tried to lift my head up, but his hand pushed me back down until I was eye-level with it.
Closing my eyes, I decided to get it over with. I opened my mouth as wide as I could, following the instructions he gave me. He continued to call out orders, and I tried my best to do what he asked. At some point, he started moaning and cursing under his breath, so I assumed I was doing a good job.
“Damn, this feels good. Use a little more spit, little mama.” He groaned while his hand stroked my hair. My friends often talkedabout how they would suck their men off and how to get them to cum faster, so I decided to use those tips on Mr. Nathan. In my head, the sooner I did what I needed to do, the quicker he would leave me alone.
I allowed more spit to drip from my mouth and used my left hand to massage his shriveled up balls. The odor emitting from his body was enough to make a person throw up, but I held my breath as best as I could and focused on the job at hand.
“Fuck. Yeah, that’s it. You catch on quick, babe,” he moaned.
I rolled my eyes at the pet names but chose to ignore him. Using both hands, I twisted them on his shaft while I sucked the tip. His leg bounced as he hissed and grunted, so I took a little more of him into my mouth. I took a deep breath before I picked up the pace. His cursing and squirming intensified, so I figured it would only be a matter of time before he finished.
“Shit, I’m about to nut. Keep sucking, little mama. Fuck.”
I went faster, praying it would be over soon, and my prayers were answered when I tasted salty slime in my mouth. Once again, I tried to lift my head, but he forcefully pushed it back down.
“Naw, you gon’ swallow this shit.” His tone turned a little more aggressive than I had anticipated. Tears filled my eyes as he released inside of my mouth. I kept gagging, but it was to no avail because his hold on me was tight. His body stopped jerking, letting me know he was finished. I could feel myself about to throw up, so I tried to tap his thigh to signal that I needed to get up. He loosened his grip on me, and I wasted no time running down the hall to the bathroom.
I couldn’t make it to the toilet, but I made it to the sink. I threw up everything I had eaten for dinner and probably breakfast too. The water was running to drown out the sounds of me puking while also helping my vomit drain down the sink. When mystomach was completely empty, I lifted my head and stared at myself in the mirror.
There was a time when I would look in the mirror and admire my beauty, but those days were long over. The only thing I saw staring back at me was a dirty, used-up girl who had lost her way. I was disgusted with myself and my circumstances. The bubbly girl I used to be was slowly beginning to fade away, and I wasn’t sure if she would ever be the same.
When I finally cleaned myself up, I hesitated to leave the bathroom. I hoped Mr. Nathan had gone back to Aunt Trina’s room, but of course, luck was never on my side for long. He was sitting on the couch with his head tilted back and one arm over his eyes. As soon as I entered the room, he shifted and focused his attention on me.
I felt dirty as his eyes swept over me lustfully. This shit wasn’t fair. A part of me wished I hadn’t taken his offer to help because the trade-off wasn’t worth it.
“Stop being all shy and shit. I promise I don’t bite unless you ask me to.” He chuckled as if he was lightening the mood.
It took everything in me to conceal my true thoughts and feelings. Internally, I was cussing him out and calling him all types of perverts in my head, but externally, I was mute. When I finally made it back to the couch, Mr. Nathan attempted to engage in small talk, but I had nothing to say. Instead of taking it as a sign to leave me alone, he did the opposite.
He grabbed my legs and slid my body down on the couch before getting up to remove the rest of his clothes.
“Man, I’ve been dreaming about sliding in this tight little pussy. It’s about time you stopped playing hard to get. I promise it’s gonna be worth it.” Once he finished undressing, he yanked my pajama bottoms off, followed by my panties.
I lay there as stiff as a board because I already knew how this would go. Fighting was pointless because if he was bold enoughto fuck his girlfriend’s niece under her roof, he didn’t give a fuck about much. Instead, I allowed my mind to drift to a safe place while he climbed on top of me. Mr. Nathan didn’t waste any time pushing himself inside of me as I winced in pain.
“Fuck. It feels even better than I imagined. I promise if you’re a good girl, you won’t have to worry about anything. I’ll take good care of you.” Mr. Nathan grunted with his hot breath blowing against my ear. Silent tears fell down my cheeks while he pumped into my limp body. He was much smaller than Tone, and for that I was grateful. I zoned out, praying for the day my life would get better and my brother and I would be reunited.
Mr. Nathan picked up speed, moving erratically as he pounded into me. After a few minutes, his back stiffened as he released inside of me. I thought he would at least pull out, but he didn’t. He held his position for several seconds until his penis went soft. What was only a four-minute encounter seemed like a lifetime, but I was glad it was over.
“Whew, that was so good. I think I just found my new addiction,” he gloated, while my eyes remained trained on the ceiling. If I had learned nothing else, it was that men were disgusting pigs, and they didn’t care whether you wanted it or not. It was truly sickening to even think about how many other girls went through the same thing as me. Shaylyn wasn’t lying when she said it wasn’t safe for black girls.
A Few Months Later
“Hey, my baby. I feel like I haven’t seen you in days. You hungry?” Granny asked as I stepped into the kitchen. She wasn’t exaggerating because I had been working nonstop for the last few weeks. Gunna offered us the opportunity to get more work to see if we could handle it. The money we stood to gain was too much to pass up on, so I hit the ground running. We had a solid team that could have handled things on their own, but I had something to prove.
“My bad. I’ve been working.”
“Hmm, yeah okay. I’ve been wearing my kneepads out praying for you and that fine little dread head you like to hang around. Young men like you are a target in this world, Essex. They only want to see you in chains or in a dirt box. The world doesn’t wantblack men to discover how truly powerful you are, so they set up these traps to take your freedom away from you, so you’ll never reach your full potential. I appreciate everything you do for me, but I would rather struggle than see you laid up in a box.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything back. My granny and I had the same talk regularly, and I understood exactly where she was coming from. A lot of the men in our family were in the streets or locked up. Two of her brothers had been killed before I was born, and my mom used to jump from one hustler to the next when she was growing up. The moment my granny found out I was hustling, she made it known that she didn’t approve of it. While I understood her position, I wasn’t going to allow anything to get in the way of my money.
“I’m about to fix your plate. Is there anything you don’t want?” she asked as she moved around the kitchen. Granny Nessa had her flaws, but she took care of me and made sure I was straight. I had lived with her since I was a youngin, so she was really the only parent I knew.
