“Do you hear yourself right now? None of that would have happened if you hadn’t answered my phone. What the hell was I supposed to do?”
“You should have said, ‘I’m with my family, bitch. Stop blowing up my line.’”
I burst out laughing even though it was obvious she meant every word.
“I did tell her I was with my family. She isn’t my enemy, so I wasn’t gonna cuss her out unnecessarily.” I shrugged, not understanding what the issue was about.
“You know what, you’re absolutely right. I’m trippin’,” Lyric relented. She wasn’t the type to back down from an argument, so I was giving her the side-eye.
Things between us were strictly platonic, but I wouldn’t pretend we hadn’t both gotten comfortable in our family routine. I woke up to her and my princess every day, so naturally, I felt a strong attachment to both of them. Lyric was well aware that I was single and dealing with multiple women. I never flaunted it in her face out of respect, but I didn’t hide it either. Those girls didn’t know where I lay my head at night, and I never brought them around our daughter. As far as I was concerned, I was being respectful. Or at least I thought I was.
When we pulled into the dealership, I expected Lyric to be excited, but she barely said two words unless it was toward the salesman who was helping us.
“I really like this one.” Lyric gushed over a black Audi with peanut butter seats. It was a newer model, and the reviews on it were good. She test drove it, and I had to admit, it fit her perfectly. Of course, she looked sexy in anything.
“Would you like to go inside and run some numbers? I’m sure we can get you approved with a reasonable monthly payment,” the salesman offered.
“Naw, we won’t be financing anything. I’ll be paying in cash,” I informed him. His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning as he stood there with his hands in his pockets.
“Sure thing. Let’s go inside and get the paperwork going, so we can get you out of here with your new ride.”
Lyric followed him inside, while I trailed behind with a sleeping Symphonee in my arms. Once we got everything signed and paid for, we scheduled for the car to be delivered first thing in the morning. Lyric pouted, but I didn’t give a damn. I knew if I let her ass drive it off the lot, her ass was bound to stay out until the next day.
Mitch, the sales associate, shook our hands and handed Lyric all the paperwork and registration information for her new whip. She thanked him for his help before heading back to my car. Once I got baby girl strapped in, I hopped in my whip and peeled off.
We drove in silence for a while before I finally spoke up.
“Are you happy about your new car?”
She thanked me while we were at the dealership, but I guess I expected her to be more excited.
“Yes, thank you again. I really appreciate everything you do for us. I’m gonna pay you back as soon as I start making my own money.”
I chuckled angrily because she was once again trying to play on my top. “You want me to fuck you up,” I grumbled, scooting back in my seat while I drove.
“What do you mean? I was just saying that I’m grateful and I plan to pay you back.” Lyric’s tone was soft but full of shit.
“Did I ask you to pay me back? Huh? Do I ever mention the shit I do for you or ask you for anything in return?” I raised my voice slightly, but not enough to disturb my baby.
“Why are you getting so defensive?”
“Because I’m tired of you trying to play me like some lame ass nigga. Everything I do for you is out of love, and if I wanted you to pay me back, I would have told you. I’m tired of having this dumb ass conversation, but it’s like you don’t fucking get it. I give you the fucking world, and you’re still questioning me like you don’t trust me. What am I missing?”
“Essex, you’re taking this the wrong way. I wasn’t trying to insult you or come off as ungrateful. You’ve got to understand where I’m coming from. Outside of my brother, no one has ever done anything for me without wanting something in return. I’m used to paying a price one way or the other, so I try my best not to get too comfortable.”
“You don’t trust me?” I tried to mask my hurt feelings, but it was easier said than done.
“I-I don’t really trust anyone anymore. It’s nothing personal, because I know you love my daughter, and I believe you care for me too, but nothing feels safe to me. I lost my ability to fully trust anyone when Keynauri was taken from me. My brother was the only person in this world that I knew without a shadow of a doubt loved me and would go to hell or jail behind me. Between Tone, my momma, Aunt Trina, and Nathan, they stripped me of every sense of safety.
“I know it frustrates you when I pull back or question everything, but I can’t help but feel like one of these days, you’re gonna wake up and see the truth.” Her voice cracked, and I saw her wipe her eyes.
“What truth are you talking about?”
“That I’m not worth the trouble. I mean, look at me. I’m eighteen years old with no job, no family, and a baby on my hip. I’ve been extra baggage to you since the moment they put those cuffs on my brother. You’re young, single, and paid. One of these days, you’re gonna find someone you want to settle down and start a real family with. I’m sure your future wife won’t be okay with you still taking care of a pretend family that you had pity on.”
I gripped the steering wheel, trying my best to calm down. Since we were pulling up to the house, I decided to hold my comments until we got inside. I needed to get some shit off my chest.
I parked my car and hopped out to grab my baby girl. I kissed her cheeks while she slept. She still needed to eat and take a bath, so I planned to wake her up after I set her momma straight. I didn’t bother to wait for Lyric to come inside. Instead, I headed to my room and lay my princess down, then placed pillows around the perimeter of the bed to make sure she didn’t fall.
