I followed her into the kitchen, where her friends were sitting at the table taking turns feeding my baby and wiping her mouth. I made her feed herself at home, but she got the royal treatment when she was with them.
“My Essex told me he was craving red snapper, and I always make what my babies want. I already packed y’all’s plates up, but there are a few leftover slices of cake from yesterday’s sale. If you want anything over there, let me know.” Granny slid me a bag with multiple plates in it. She spoiled East and Symphonee, and as a result, I was spoiled too.
“Thank you. Is that red velvet cake?” I peeked over to the table to see what the options were. Gloria baked the best red velvet cake, and Granny Nessa was undefeated when it came to pound cakes and cobblers. I used to be a stick figure, but they kept me fed while I was pregnant.
“Yes, baby. Grab a couple of slices. Whatever I have leftover, I’m gonna give to the neighbors anyway.”
I grabbed a couple of slices and headed back over to the table where our food was. I tried to kiss Noodle’s funky tail on the cheek, but she pushed my face away. Baby girl loved to eat and couldn’t stand when people interrupted.
“Girl, you are a trip. I’ll let you finish your food, meanie.” I stuck my tongue out at her, and she giggled.
“You leave my gran-girl alone. She likes to focus when she’s eating. She don’t like people in her face. Ain’t that right, baby?” Of course, Granny made excuses for her baby. Symphonee had everyone wrapped around her finger. I still couldn’t believe my little girl was officially a toddler and getting into any and everything. Seeing how fast she grew almost made me want another one.
“Come to the living room with me while she finishes her last bit of food. I hardly ever get to see you unless you’re picking her up.” Granny gestured for me to follow her.
Outside of East and Logic, she had been a godsend to me. When she first found out about my pregnancy, she stepped right up to help me. I didn’t grow up in a typical family, which meant I missed out on having a grandmother to love and dote on. My grandmother on my mom’s side of the family was deceased, and my father’s mother wanted nothing to do with us after my father was killed. She believed my mother set him up, and since she couldn’t have a relationship with us without my mother being involved, she chose to exclude us from her life altogether.
Granny sat in her recliner and pulled the handle on the side to extend the footrest.
“Tell me what’s new with you. You’ve been popping in and out of here for months now. I was beginning to think you were tryna avoid me.” Her eyebrows lifted as she glanced over in my direction.
“I promise I’m not avoiding you. School has been kicking my tail, and I’ve been trying to keep up with all of my homework while making content and taking care of Noodle. Being an adult is not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“We try to tell you young folks not to be in such a hurry to grow up. It ain’t nothing but bills and depression waiting on the other side. You already know that if you ever need me to keep my grandbaby while you’re doing homework, I’ve got you. Pam was just asking about her this afternoon. Your village may not be the biggest, but we’re here for you.”
I twisted the rings on my fingers to keep myself from crying. Essex always told me to use his family more often if I needed help. I guess I was afraid of wearing out my welcome, so I only asked for help if there were no other options.
“I will. Essex has been on me about it because I’ve been stretching myself thin this semester. I feel like there are a thousand things I need to get done and only one me.”
Essex offered to hire cleaning people to help around the house, but I felt like it would make me look lazy. I was technically the woman of the house, and I shouldn’t need anyone else’s help to clean. He thought I was being ridiculous because our new house was much bigger than the place we started in. There were more floors and more rooms to clean.
“I hear you, and I understand where you’re coming from, but you’ve got to get your priorities in order. If school isn’t what you want anymore, then it’s okay to quit or go back later. You seem to have found your lane on that tube of the you, so there’s nothing wrong with changing the course of your dreams.”
“YouTube, granny.” I snickered.
“You know what I meant, chile. Pam showed me one of your videos, and you looked happy. She said some of those heffas on there are making some good money. If I knew how to work one of those cameras, I would make cooking videos and become aninfluenzaor whatever you young folks call them.
“If you’ve found something that makes you happy, and it has the ability to provide for you, then I don’t see anything wrong with making it a full-time career. Hell, it’s not like you need the money. My grandson has been taking care of you long before you started playing with his private parts.”
“Granny!” I shrieked, covering my face with my hands.
“Oh, chile, please. When you first moved in, I knew it would only be a matter of time before he got a taste of that young twat. He had stars in his eyes the moment he moved you in. Ain’t no sense in being embarrassed. You got a man who loves you and your child with his soul, and you deserve it.”
“You don’t think I’m too young for him?” We were only a few years apart, but I often worried he would get tired of me because our mindsets were different when it came to certain topics.
“Love doesn’t have limitations. Unless you were underage. We don’t play that shit over here. I think the two of you understandone another in ways that others may not. You may be younger in age, but you’ve experienced real-life situations that caused you to have to grow up sooner than you should have. Every relationship requires work. As long as you prioritize each other and are willing to put in the work, you’re gonna be just fine.”
“Thank you. I’m happy with Essex. He makes me feel like I finally have a real family. He really is my best friend.”
“My Essex is a special boy. He doesn’t open up to everyone, which is why I know you’re special. Life has made him a little hard around the edges, but once you pull back those layers, you get the best version of him.”
I smiled as she talked about my man. Since making things official, I had been on cloud nine. He swore nothing had changed, and he was right for the most part, except that I was sleeping in his bed every night. The sex was out of this world, and we had been fucking like rabbits. Our relationship was much deeper than sex, though. The way he loved me made me feel seen and cherished. It took a while for me to adjust to it, but now I had teetered into obsession. I would sit up and watch him sleep in the morning, thanking God for sending me my own personal angel.
“Now, tell me why your face was so long when you walked in here. And don’t try to bullshit me because your red eyes told on you.”
I opened my mouth and then closed it again. Granny and East both possessed this weird gift where they could read others’ energy in the room. Even if I tried to mask my sadness with a smile, they could always see right through my facade. East drove me crazy because he wouldn’t let it go until I revealed all of my deepest and darkest secrets.
“I went to see my brother today,” I replied lowly. My emotions were already trying to resurface. No one would ever understand the level of guilt and pain I hid in my heart. It didn’t matter howwell my life was going; it would never erase the heaviness from my past.
