I shook my head, looking back up at the sky. “Happens a lot,” I admitted.
His hand squeezed mine. I expected him to press, but he didn’t. Instead we sat in silence, comfortable to let the minutes stretch between us.
I was accustomed to spending sleepless nights alone when my darkest thoughts made themselves known. There was something immensely comforting to have his silent presence beside me and his hand holding mine.
“This is a much nicer view than the ceiling,” I murmured finally.
He chuckled. “I’d imagine it is. Is that your typical view when you can’t sleep?”
“Usually.” I nodded. “Sometimes I just stare at Mason. He’s so peaceful when he’s sleeping.” I turned to him. “Do you think that’s strange?”
He looked back at me. “No, darlin’. I’d think it strange if a mama didn’t want to look at her boy.”
His simple words hinted at a much larger story to be told.
“And you know something about that?” I surmised cautiously.
He ran his free hand through his hair, his fingers catching on the tangles before he simply ran a palm over the top, leaving a path of unruliness that made him all the more handsome. He pondered my question as though searching for a way to begin. “Cole’s mom and I—we were so goddamned young. Not even out of high school when she got pregnant. I’d like to think I loved her, but I was a fucking kid.” He shook his head ruefully. “What I did know was that I wanted him. I never doubted that. I knew we could make it work. Our parents were both shit but I had a decent job at a garage here in town. I wanted to make a go of it. I needed to.
“After Cole was born—he changed my world. He gave me a purpose I hadn’t had before. It didn’t matter how young I was, I wanted to be the best father I could be. Unlike what I’d had.”
I held perfectly still, afraid if I moved an inch he’d stop talking, and I desperately wanted to hear more.
“Chrissy, she just wasn’t happy.” He sighed, looking up at the sky, his thumb tracing over the top of my hand. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to soothe me or himself. “I hadn’t had much exposure to loving parents but I knew the way she looked at him wasn’t right. She just never… took to him. When she up and left, I figured it was for the best.”
I sucked in a breath, my heart breaking for him and Cole.
He turned to me. “So, you stare at that boy all you want, honey. I know you have things in your past you’re not proud of. I know you’re harder on yourself than anyone I’ve ever met. But I’ll tell you right now—I’ve never seen a finer mother.”
I didn’t even try to speak, knowing it was impossible. Instead I gripped his hand like a lifeline, needing the connection as his words took root somewhere deep, somewhere long buried, if it had ever existed at all.
After another moment he stood up, reaching down to me. “What do you say we try to get some sleep?”
I nodded, taking his hand and allowing him to pull me up. We walked back into the house, hand in hand, and down the hall.
When we reached my door his hands cupped my jaw, drawing my face upwards. His lips met mine in a soft, all too quick kiss. “Night, babe.”
“Night,” I managed to reply despite the racing of my heart and shaking of my knees.
Shit, if I reacted like that to a peck, what the hell would happen when he really kissed me?
Chapter 10
“Have dinner with me.” His voice sounded from behind me as I poured a cup of coffee the next morning. Mason sat babbling in his high chair, comfortable as could be in his new surroundings.
I continued to fix my coffee until the blush on my cheeks died down some. “Are you asking?” I demanded lightly, finally turning to face him.
He grinned. “No.”
“Well then, I can’t answer you, can I?” I replied with a shrug, trying to hide my smile as I took a sip of my coffee.
“Christ, woman,” he muttered. “Full of stubbornness and sass.”
“But it’s cute on me, right?” I reminded him. “I’ll have dinner with you,” I added, surprised at how excited I was by the prospect. “As long as I can find someone to watch Bubs.”
His slow grin returned. “Already taken care of. Axel will come pick him up on his way home from the club.”
“Wait, we’re going out tonight?” I replied in surprise.
